Hi. Iâm Francine Colman-Gutierrez. And here are some things youâre totally wrong about in your teeny tiny bubble full of safe space.
âThe Supreme Court will stop him.â No, they wonât. Theyâre all gonna bite it in, like, 15 minutes, and be replaced with judges from Law & Order. Wrong.
âCongress will grow some balls.â Every day Congress drops their balls off at the Congressional Ball Check so they wonât set off the Ball Detector. Ya wrong!
âHe canât possibly build something that costs $21 billion without our permission, right?â He has a big fat permission slip in the form of 306 electoral votes, you big dumb bag of wrong.
âMaybe a president who tells it like it is isnât so bad.â Yeah. Maybe a butt that never stops spouting explosive diarrhea isnât so bad either, Wrongy Hilfiger.
âThe conflicts of interest will make him impeachable!â One of his advisers did a straight up, QVC-style commercial for his daughterâs bullshit clothing line where the only thing missing was a sassy spin and a popped hip. America doesnât GAF, and you are a sad, sad, wrong person.
âAt least Melania seems nice.â I hate you so hard.
âOne of these tweet storms is finally going to go too far.â You mean like he might say that millions of âillegalsâ voted, or that he âjust found outâ that the ex-President of the United States illegally wiretapped his phones? You mean he might say some crazy shit there wonât ever be any repercussions for? Youâre right. That might happen, Wrong Duck Dong.
âThis Russia thing is going to take him down.â Someone could post a sex tape of him tossing Putinâs salad and half of America would say it was good for US-Russia relations. These are the salad days for stupid people.
âYou canât just overtly put a bunch of billionaires in charge of every government agency. America wonât stand for it.â But they will sit for it. Or get a sit-stand desk and sit for it part of the time, and stand for it the rest of the time. That might happen.
âWe canât have an administration that lies all the time. Itâs un-American.â Have you ever read Facebook, Wrong John Silver?
âThereâs some sort of presidential psychiatrist who will save us if he gets too out of hand.â Hahahahaha. Wrong squared.
âIâm having a super long bad dream where I go to work and see my friends and eat and drink and have Oscar Parties and go to the bathroom.â You are both awake and wrong.
âHis hair will eventually eat him.â Whatâs wrong with you?