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How much do you know about national news? Find out by taking this quiz in which the most TRUTHFUL answer is the correct one.


1) Last week the Trump administration dropped a 22,000 lb. bomb, called a MOAB, on an Islamic State cave system in Afghanistan. What should MOAB stand for?

A) Mother of all bombs.

B) Many other Arabs burned.

C) Missing our American beliefs.

D) Morons often act brutish.


2) United Airlines has reversed their policy allowing flight crews to bump a sitting passenger off their plane. Why did they do this?

A) Because they’re truly sorry for the poor passenger who was dragged off their plane, and sincerely want to correct an unfair policy.

B) Because they can still bump you off a flight... they’ll just do it before you sit down, and after you’ve already paid.

C) Because their stock prices plummeted, and... that’s all.

D) Because it’s more important to appear contrite than be contrite.


3) President Trump tweeted that China should get North Korea under control and if they couldn’t, “we will solve the problem without them! USA.” This was stupid because...

A) North Korea wrote the book on crazy, so crazy doesn’t really bother them.

B) Trump sincerely does not know what he’s doing, and will very likely get us all killed.

C) Everyone reading this tweet already knows that Trump is a citizen of the USA, and didn’t need a reminder.

D) Because without fail, everything Trump does is stupid.


4) President Trump has spent one out of every five minutes of his presidency at his “winter White House” in Palm Beach. Why?

A) Because he doesn’t like being president very much, I guess?

B) Because every second he’s away from the White House, he temporarily forgets the sobering responsibility he’s been given, and is desperately trying to avoid.

C) Because being there increases the value of his Mar-a-Lago property, while being in the White House doesn’t do shit.

D) Ummm... because Mar-a-Lago serves “the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen!” Hello!


ANSWERS: 1) D... or maybe B. 2) C... and probably D, too. 3) All of the above for sure, and 4) Well, A—but in Trump’s defense, cake is good.