Jack Pollock
Last month, the Portland Alliance revealed that Police Chief Mark Kroeker had made statements to a Christian group back in 1989 that many considered "anti-gay" as well as sexist. According to tapes of a speech called "The New Social Order," and "Family Discipline," Chief Kroeker referred to alternative lifestyles as a form of perversion. He also suggested that women should be "submissive," and that wives and children should be beaten with boating equipment (i.e., an oar) if they stepped out of line.

In spite of cries for blood from the gay and lesbian community, Mayor Vera Katz has maintained that regardless of his personal opinions, Mark Kroeker should be judged by his actions, not his beliefs. I agree with you, Ms. Mayor, that he should not be held accountable for his private beliefs on controversial issues. I appreciate you, Vera, for respecting his privacy. You see, Ms. Mayor, I need a job. And I have some controversial opinions of my own. But I'm relieved that the City of Portland is a place that understands there's a difference between personal beliefs and one's ability to do a job. Ms. Mayor, I deeply respect your ability to recognize that the Chief's opinions are his business. It was a courageous, principled act of tolerance.

Let me lay it down for ya', Ms. Mayor, so we don't need to worry about my skeletons. I believe Jesus is the Lord. I believe Californians are rude drivers. Kids should be seen not heard. I believe Mexicans have too many children. In fact, I believe all Latinos are Mexicans. I think the Chinese should do my laundry. All Irish are drunks. All Blacks are lazy. And I think all Eskimos are fat because they eat too much blubber.

I don't like city folk. All artists are Fags. I believe Rednecks have sex with their chickens. I believe all chickens have sex with their Rednecks. And last but not least, I believe all white people--and I mean all of them--are evil.

But as you clearly understand, Ms. Mayor, I can keep my personal opinions and my professional duties completely separate. Chief Kroeker can. So can I. Please, Ms. Mayor, Vera, can I be the new Superintendent of Schools?