I'M SORRY. I'm a liar. I am not a professional wig tester.

Though I'm sure this is somebody's real profession, sadly I was just bored on our "date" and decided to spice things up! No, I do not have an eccentric clientele of celebrities and drag queens that I test for. No, I do not receive monthly "trial wigs." The hair flip test... no. The hair matting test... no. The cap-size comfort test... no. And no, I am not actually required to wear wigs as I drive with the car windows down in order to test hair ergonomics. (I'm an evil bitch for telling you that one, but I kept a straight face!) Wig testing is not how I paid for my vacation to Venice. Sigh.

It was your own fault! You were so boring! Someone had to say something interesting! I did just get back from Venice, though. At least one thing was true.—Anonymous