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Comment Archives: Stories: Columns: I, Anonymous

Re: “I, Anonymous

I've lived my entire 34 years in the Northwest and had no idea that I was "living the dream." Hot damn, I can't wait to tell my underemployed, underpaid friends this news!

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sallysalmon on 08/27/2015 at 1:46 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Byyyyyyyyye! You are a self righteous prick and I doubt seriously that you will espouse your fucked up belief in Social Darwinism when someone smarter and richer than you comes in and takes YOUR shit. I only wish I could be there to see you whine.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by baculumcranium on 08/27/2015 at 12:11 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Short answer: smarter people than you have found a way to earn more money than you and now they want what you have. So we are buying up your precious city and kicking you out and you are too poor and powerless to do anything other than whine about it. Enjoy Missouri, I'm done with it.

2 likes, 6 dislikes
Posted by Byyyyyyyye! on 08/27/2015 at 9:31 AM

Re: “I, Anonymous

What exactly is "the Northwestern dream?" Is this based on some Portlandia sketch?
What I don't understand is why people keep coming here. Really, this city looks more and more like every other gentrified city in the country. I've been to L.A, S.F and D.c over the past few years to visit and the 'new; i.e. gentrified neighborhoods look virtually identicle to Nw 21st, the Pearl and what's happening to virtually every neighborhood in the city. So, again, why move here?
Cities are turning into what used to be the suburbs. The same people who would have never moved into a city ten yers ago are now claiming city core's as their own, claiming that they have GOOD JOBS and, therefore, know what's best for those stupid working class and minority populations. These selfsame, dime-a-dozen, bland, entitled and laregley white populations go on to make formerly diversive and singular neighborhoods into places where they feel more comfortable i.e Growlers (the dumbest fucking trend I've seen out of many of Portland's stupid fucking trends) wine bars, Whole Foods, chain designer clothing shops, and, of course, Subways, and succeed in making these harmless, homogoneous safe zones so they can 'find thesemselves, play a ukelele or whatever the fuck else.
You know what, life is full of disappointment. My 'Northwestern Dream' was cheap rent and the possibility of buying a house one day. I know, I know, I'm one of those shitty working class people who only work 40-50 hrs a week working jobs that aren't 'GOOD' in the eyes of entitled yuppies like these but this used to be a city, or really a country, where if you worked hard enough things like that might happen. Now, because of people like this, that has changed, and what was formerly a city where people were largely friendly to one another and was an interesting, creative place to live is now a city where hardowrking people like me are constantly anxious about rent while privelged people like this are upset because someone was a meanie to them.

10 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by pdxpaul001 on 08/26/2015 at 12:58 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

As we become adults, we gradually realize that things we don't like can still be good.

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by nwspirit on 08/25/2015 at 6:12 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Order has been restored to the Universe by Postmodern Jukebox:
Cyrus, Swift, Mackelmore,..they even went after Radiohead.

Posted by bucky on 08/24/2015 at 5:27 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Ever since Bob Dylan said he singlehandedly killed Tin Pan Alley, songwriters have been trying to be successful without being "commercial" as if there were some great chasm between the two concepts. But Dylan knew how to write a hook, too, and I suspect your friends in the circle are just frustrated they're neither Dylan nor Swift, hence their faux umbrage. Swift is no different than a million other pop stars, she writes and/or performs songs people like and that's that. Judge them by their songs, not by what some aging guys who never got over "Double Nickels on the Dime" think. Not every musician with "integrity" is actually worth the sacrifices he or she allegedly made. Sure there's crappy pop stars, but there's also crappy singers at open mics. Time eventually weeds out those who are posing from those who aren't.

12 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Mr. Greener on 08/24/2015 at 12:27 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Taylor Swift will never, ever, ever read this IA post.

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Mr. Greener on 08/24/2015 at 12:11 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

The only advice I can give is:

If you truly, truly love Taylor Swift, Don't Tell Anyone.
She is part of the problem in the Modern Pop World, and people (and girls above the age of 18) with good sense know this to be true.

6 likes, 19 dislikes
Posted by frankieb on 08/20/2015 at 7:38 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

While I'm not the biggest fan of meth heads in particular, and I'm not exactly sure what boat shoes look like; something resonates with the ring of truth in this letter.

I'll never call Felony Flats FoPo, 'cause that's just stupid; but I do recognize a big change in all of Portland's most affordable neighborhoods.

I'm 38 and I moved here from Eugene in 8th grade... is it too much to ask that I can rent a house for around a thousand dollars a month without having to move to fucking Gresham?

The main thing that bugs me about the people moving here is that they're willing to spend 1600 a month on a studio, thereby fucking off the market for the rest of us.

Pay attention nerds, the job market won't support those prices for long.

5 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Blacktacular! on 08/17/2015 at 9:22 AM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Dangling modifiers aside, a cultural takeover is in progress. It doesn't matter which side thinks they're legit. People who have lived in the neighborhood for years feel threatened by the newcomers, the newcomers tend not to value or sense the preexisting culture, the newcomers feel entitled by their privilege, and the "old timers" feel entitled by their stake on the land.

Both parties seem to lack functional communication skills. This degrades into a four year old's squabble over toy sharing.

Grow up —the lot of you! Could it be possible that you can create something even greater than what you expect together!?

4 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by sickosycophants on 08/17/2015 at 12:31 AM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Portland is played out. It's for yuppies and rich people now. Time to move on. There are other cities.

7 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by loveanddeath on 08/16/2015 at 1:48 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

You know what they say...the empty can rattles the most. Most of these people bitching about "new portland" are disgruntled over the fact that their ignorant fantasy of being able to skate by in life, living in a great and growing city in a prime location of your choice at a budget rate supported by a non-career type job, simply isn't realistic. Also, the notion that all of these people with revisionist views of their past were all badass "creatives" is BS. Just because you worked at a coffee shop with art on the walls and knew a few people in bands, doesn't make you a creative.

When you moved here 5 or 10 or 20 years ago there was a whole other group of people bitching about you for being younger and seemingly annoying. Such is life. There are always going to be people bitching at the next generation, newcomers and change in general.

Finally, the fact that you all are bitching about things like improving neighborhood amenities, lower crime rates, people buying and investing in improvements to our older neighborhood homes, etc etc, makes you part of a rare breed of ignorant asshole who is exceedingly clueless.

12 likes, 6 dislikes
Posted by JTR on 08/16/2015 at 9:57 AM

Re: “I, Anonymous…

fuck mayor hales - he needs to be locked up.

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by yoshi_man on 08/16/2015 at 3:41 AM

Re: “I, Anonymous

I left Portland for one of these "backward" podunk rural areas---and I find the people nicer and more tolerant, the job market better, cost of living lower, and the general IQ level a few points higher. I miss many of the amenities. There's no record store or book store; in fact not many stores at all. But that's what trips to the city are for.

11 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by Nathan Reynolds on 08/15/2015 at 2:41 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

I wanna go buy some boat shoes now, just so I can walk by this guy's house and tsk tsk him. trollolol!

1 like, 2 dislikes
Posted by Donovan Raymond on 08/15/2015 at 1:25 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

What I'm hearing is that the people complaining about the gentrifiers LIKE living in shitty, run down neighborhoods? You can stand to have meth heads running around your block? You like looking at ugly, one level ranch houses who've never had better days? You enjoy not being around convenient amenities and shops? Anything that's not rural and awful offends you? Well good news: there are PLENTY of methed out, podunk towns in the US. Go find one and stop hating on people who like nice things!!

11 likes, 11 dislikes
Posted by funnybunny on 08/15/2015 at 11:08 AM

Re: “I, Anonymous

We are not Portlandians. We are Portlanders. Dammit.

29 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Bunny Smith on 08/15/2015 at 10:11 AM

Re: “I, Anonymous

You are all hilarious! Keep on raging on Portlandians... Things are only going to get worse as the city continues to grow.

4 likes, 12 dislikes
Posted by Nick68620 on 08/15/2015 at 9:41 AM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Progress is hard.

6 likes, 11 dislikes
Posted by chazz.madrigal on 08/15/2015 at 3:47 AM

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