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Comment Archives: Stories: Extras: Portland As Fuck

Re: “Portland as Fuck

I've been a fan of both you and Ron since Helium opened up about three years ago and it was basically impossible to go to a show without seeing one or both of you. You both stood out back then, and have been honing your sets well since then.

You're a really funny fucking guy Ian. If you make it big, promise to start nudging all your producer friends to start filming up here so that Portland becomes a place comedians can move TO for their career, rather than moving AWAY. Know you can always come back, unless we ever see you in a Lakers hat and then you're fucking dead.

9 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Aestro on 08/27/2013 at 8:16 AM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Nothing about kale, eh? How soon we forget.

5 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Todd Mecklem on 08/22/2013 at 10:15 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

you are leaving?

3 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by i'mrightyourwrong on 08/22/2013 at 1:24 AM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Good luck, Ian. There's a great community of comics in LA, so be mindful and take time to notice that, because, er... the rest of it... Uh, Dave Anthony and Greg Behrendt are particularly swell guys; try to get to know them if you can. I left there just in time to get to know your column, and though I'll miss it, for a comic I think you're making the right move. I hope your adventure is going to be a thrilling one, and I've really enjoyed reading you.

But dude. As Patton (another completely awesome human being to know) once said, it is an involuntary-sexual-relation-based economy down there. Really get into comedy, because you are gonna miss this place.

2 likes, 5 dislikes
Posted by torkfool on 08/21/2013 at 10:10 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Namaste, bro!

1 like, 5 dislikes
Posted by John C. Creegan on 08/21/2013 at 4:48 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Why are you still here?!

zzz

2 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by chicostix on 08/20/2013 at 2:33 AM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Leaky, that's a good one, there's one at the arcade in Seaside, back by the air hockey tables.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Todd Mecklem on 08/19/2013 at 6:07 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Well fuck it I'll play the AC/DC one then.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Leaky 2.0 oz on 08/19/2013 at 4:12 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Well fuck, you just reminded me that you are one of the few Portland comics that consistently makes me actually laugh out loud. Now I'm just going to miss you that much more. It was a good run!

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Archdukechocula on 08/19/2013 at 3:57 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

@Leaky:

According to http://pinballmap.com/portland# there isn't one in the entire portland metro region.

and according to http://ipdb.org/ it doesn't exist.

@Aestro:

Pretty much nailed my friends and I, if we are having fun who cares?

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Agit on 08/19/2013 at 3:48 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

You're preaching to the choir about NGaF about the Timbers here bro. Despite the fact that they are the hipster-friendliest pro sports team in the country - or the planet for that matter - the Merc only touches them because they happen to have a superfan in Gjurgs.
Anyway, see you at Screen Door on Sunday!

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by GeezRilly? on 08/19/2013 at 3:23 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

There is one place to play pinball, and that's Ground Kontrol on freeplay night.

Any other time and you're the weirdo leaving a group of friends at a bar to go do something by yourself OR the even bigger weirdo that has friends that gather around pinball machines. Or the biggest weirdo that goes to bars alone to play pinball.

3 likes, 11 dislikes
Posted by Aestro on 08/19/2013 at 10:06 AM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

You're just shitty at pinball.

12 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Todd Mecklem on 08/18/2013 at 2:16 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

I don't like pinball either, I completely understand the point, but, whereisthataerosmithpinballmachineanyone?

Posted by Leaky 2.0 oz on 08/17/2013 at 5:14 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

I think the lines are partly to say you stood in a line for two hours. I still do not understand this, especially when some of the super popular spots are not worth waiting two hours for

7 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by The Showstopper on 08/17/2013 at 1:28 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Dont listen to him Karmel. I feel like you've saved the best for last. Sure its not A list stuff but its definitely going to blow Gallagher away down at the LA Comedy Club.
Remember its all in the Delivery!

2 likes, 4 dislikes
Posted by i'mrightyourwrong on 08/16/2013 at 8:39 AM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Glad you finally came out of the closet about all this shit. Too bad you had to wait until you're leaving town to feel comfortable enough to tell all of your entrenched douche bag friends or random judgmental strangers you find yourself around how you really feel but I hope it felt good.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go run a bath. I have painted my penis green and affixed googly eyes to the tip. Today is the day my bold Lego explorers will finally solve the mystery of the Lochness Monster.

28 likes, 5 dislikes
Posted by JRRTrollkien on 08/14/2013 at 2:34 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Yeah parents. If you''re going to smother your offspring with your inflated expectations at least get your daughters some ballet or dance lessons while they're growing up so they have a sense of rhythm when they inevitably start stripping.

19 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by JRRTrollkien on 08/08/2013 at 10:04 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

yeah- there's alot of uptight parents in this area- to the point that it's funny- It never occurred to me that what I thought was a stick up their ******, was actually a rubics cube. Hmmmmmmm.

5 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Sara Hamill on 08/08/2013 at 5:18 PM

Re: “Portland as Fuck

Also, dogs. What's up with dogs?

15 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Todd Mecklem on 08/08/2013 at 12:44 PM

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