Good luck, Ian. There's a great community of comics in LA, so be mindful and take time to notice that, because, er... the rest of it... Uh, Dave Anthony and Greg Behrendt are particularly swell guys; try to get to know them if you can. I left there just in time to get to know your column, and though I'll miss it, for a comic I think you're making the right move. I hope your adventure is going to be a thrilling one, and I've really enjoyed reading you.
But dude. As Patton (another completely awesome human being to know) once said, it is an involuntary-sexual-relation-based economy down there. Really get into comedy, because you are gonna miss this place.
[Original letter writer Ed here]
I don't deny that racism exists. It definitely does. However, the US is arguable less racist than it has ever been. Look at the African-Americans who have achieved success at the higest levels of the government: President Obama, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice, even Clarence Thomas.
I've studied the subject and read the literature. But if you don't believe me, please check out Bill Cosby's speech in 2004 to the NAACP or John Singleton's movie Boyz n The Hood. The lesson is culture matters.
Thanks for tackling a serious issue.
PS. What do you mean you don't like lesson #3? How about if I rephrased it to " have children only in the confines of a committed relationship"? Does that work better? :) Two adults in the household in a stable relationship almost always leads to better outcomes. Ask any sociologist or anyone that has studied the data.
Why are you still here?!
Leaky, that's a good one, there's one at the arcade in Seaside, back by the air hockey tables.
Well fuck it I'll play the AC/DC one then.
Well fuck, you just reminded me that you are one of the few Portland comics that consistently makes me actually laugh out loud. Now I'm just going to miss you that much more. It was a good run!
According to http://pinballmap.com/portland# there isn't one in the entire portland metro region.
and according to http://ipdb.org/ it doesn't exist.
Pretty much nailed my friends and I, if we are having fun who cares?
You're preaching to the choir about NGaF about the Timbers here bro. Despite the fact that they are the hipster-friendliest pro sports team in the country - or the planet for that matter - the Merc only touches them because they happen to have a superfan in Gjurgs.
Anyway, see you at Screen Door on Sunday!
There is one place to play pinball, and that's Ground Kontrol on freeplay night.
Any other time and you're the weirdo leaving a group of friends at a bar to go do something by yourself OR the even bigger weirdo that has friends that gather around pinball machines. Or the biggest weirdo that goes to bars alone to play pinball.
You're just shitty at pinball.
I don't like pinball either, I completely understand the point, but, whereisthataerosmithpinballmachineanyone?
I think the lines are partly to say you stood in a line for two hours. I still do not understand this, especially when some of the super popular spots are not worth waiting two hours for
A few months ago, I sent a Letter To The Editor of the Mercury. No one acknowledged my letter, probably because it expressed an opinion contrary to the politically correct, anti-American nightmare the Mercury is ramming down our throats.
But I am totally on board with I Anonymous. There is nothing - Absolutely NOTHING - so horrible that I would not wish it on those who have wronged me. I lie at awake at night contemplating revenge. I want it so bad I can taste it.
Imagine both my enemy's legs crushed by a sledgehammer. Every time he thinks about running down to the court for a couple of quick sets of tennis, he'll remember what he did to me. Imagine his eyes gouged out with Anonymous's broken tip jar. Every morning when he wakes up and gropes around for his white cane, he'll think of me.
Know what the most satisfying thing in life is?? It's not accomplishing a difficult task and receiving well-deserved adulation. It's not raising your children into responsible, productive adults. It's not achieving happiness, by whatever means works for you.
The sweetest, most satisfying feeling life has to offer is revenge. Complete and absolute revenge.
Remember back in the old days, before the dawn of the Science channel, when Discovery and The "Learning" Channel used their bandwidth to attempt to educate and amuse with informative educational documentaries?
Yeah, me neither.
Ok, you went too far with the Foxworthy jokes.
Hey, one of the writers was named Savage....
Dont listen to him Karmel. I feel like you've saved the best for last. Sure its not A list stuff but its definitely going to blow Gallagher away down at the LA Comedy Club.
Remember its all in the Delivery!
Funny, I feel the same about tip jars.
Glad you finally came out of the closet about all this shit. Too bad you had to wait until you're leaving town to feel comfortable enough to tell all of your entrenched douche bag friends or random judgmental strangers you find yourself around how you really feel but I hope it felt good.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go run a bath. I have painted my penis green and affixed googly eyes to the tip. Today is the day my bold Lego explorers will finally solve the mystery of the Lochness Monster.
All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
Contact Info |
Production Guidelines |