Oh, ROM, I think you and your sterling logic would benefit from a lesson in facetiousness.
ROM: First, great calls on the logic fails.
Second, I don't think that the article's tips are to be taken literally, especially based on the line, "Ladies, as much as we all love scathing comebacks, chances are you're not always going to be prepared with the perfect response while being harassed." That being said, I don't think it's nearly as clear as it should be, and my objection stated above is another problem I have with this article.
Holycatsbatman!: You logic is failing. You are talking about a dating site, in which all the people are looking for dates. This article is talking about street harassment, in which one of the parties are made up of people just trying to drive home or walk into a store.
Another logic fail: Some of you dudes are like, "I totally like when someone compliments me, therefore every woman must enjoy being 'complimented' on a daily basis for years by creepy strangers."
My girlfriend gets harassed daily by men. It's not flattering. Just use your fucking brains and don't engage in a shitty way with women who CLEARLY have no interest in you.
I think this article is not great - most of these tips, though humorous, will basically open a can of crap. Many women don't WANT to engage with the guys in these situations. They just want the situations to go away.
It's really depressing how many men in here are confusing compliments with catcalling and sexual harassment. Are those two things really the same in your mind?!
You seem to advocate making a false crime report to the police in your first graphic. "Tell them anything else you want" crosses a line. Some guys are assholes, but telling lies to the police helps no one.
My favorite from "back in the day" when I was still a hottie....
"I'd sure like to get into your pants."
"Oh! Why? Did you just shit in yours?"
Well, I ride the bus and people are rude to women sometimes, it's messed up! Nothing wrong with correcting the sleazies who do say things like "you should smile."
But then the article gets into the mega-hate and they lose the point. It is better to be constructive.
One time some latino gentlemen called me a bitch and a faggot from their parked car while staring at me in a not entirely friendly way. Another time some african american gentlemen robbed me on the street in sf. I don't think "Latinos / African-Americans, you are the problem. If you don't intimidate people someone you know does!"
Group based hate is messed up. I understand the need to vent some frustration on the writers part, but that kind of talk is other side of the same coin.
I've tried "hubba hubba" and "I LOVE the color purple" to a fine lady wearing purple leggings. It didn't get me any good reactions, but I've seen other men ogling a lady, and that lady, walk back and forth with a huge smile on her face- LOVING it. After I told a female friend that juicy butts at Powell's made me insane she said "Just grab at it. You're attractive enough." I didn't take her advice. Something someone says is not the same as something done to someone. Would I grope? No. That's action. That's illegal. That could mean a kick in my scrotum. And that hurts.
No, I'm not a misogynist, ie I don't hate women, I DO want to fuck them though- with consent of course. If that makes me a misogynist a/o potential rapist to these writers or any other insane feminist ideologue, wel then, so be it. I don't have to care for anyone that doesn't care for me and worse. I may get a "fuck off" here or there, but the best thing I can say either to myself or out loud "with PLEASURE, my dear!"
Would I say that to my ma or niece? No. I don't want to fuck my ma or niece. Duh! (I also don't have a niece.)
Have at one point been objectified and stared at? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Yes, and well, no, because I'm a shy person and I didn't know how to reciprocate without being creepy. Would I have preferred being straight up groped? YES. God yes. Zeus YES. ODIN, JA!
Women are bizarre. I don't understand them. But that doesn't mean I hate them.
GWW had a great vid about this seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-N9daqANcw
To all the male Lovelab users who send flirts to female Lovelab users: Cut it out. It's demeaning and offensive!
So giving a woman a compliment is being a mysogynistic asshole? Talking to a woman in public in any way without her express written authorization is harassment? Really? Because I know many women that have said that it's made their day sometimes when a guy they pass on the street gives them a nice compliment. I have known many couples that met in public places as strangers after one of them initiated conversation. I shudder to think of the society we are heading towards if the mere act of talking to a stranger is considered hostile.
Both the fact that women get yelled at, assaulted, and harassed in public, and the hateful, sexist tone of the article are offensive to me. All sexists are fucknuts and spiders ; ).
However there's a fine line between old school catcalls/wolf whistles/sexist jokes and simply saying hello.
Honestly, the biggest complaints I've heard about Portland men from women I've dated is that Portland guys are too passive and meek and refuse to initiate conversations with women...
"Here's a good litmus test for compliments: Would you say it to your mother or niece? No? Then don't scream it at the woman who's just trying to catch the number 8 bus."
I disagree. Is a woman minding her own business, in public, not in a situation where romantic/sexual interaction is appropriate and invited? No? Then shut the fuck up and leave her alone.
"Hello" can be threatening to women. Check out #streetharassment on Twitter if you don't believe me. Plenty of men that follow/threaten/yell at women that don't respond to a "hello". How hard is it to just leave people alone? Learn about privilege and rape culture and entitlement, assholes.
Laughing at all the losers going "Not all men are like that! This article is sexist toward men!"
If the part that offends you about this article is that she said that men are the problem for contributing to this culture, and NOT the part about how women deal with sexual harassment every single day, you ARE part of the problem, fucknuts.
I remember studying a book in Jr High about "Opening Lines".
Or in other words: How To Pick Up Any Woman. And Seeing how
I am still single (never married SWM 52 y/o) I guess it didn't work!
Oh boy..I just loved this! And I'm so sorry if it offends any men out there because those of you who don't pull this crap are such a blessing! To all of you who can't understand boundaries: we just don't like you. It's really as simple as all that. Don't make comments about our clothes, our weight-loss or gain, our bodies..you get the idea. We really aren't interested in your opinions or views about those things. It's just creepy.
what about the time honored tradition of whistling at a lady? the main thing is not to cross any line of it becoming a crime. look at it another way. their attention is a direct reaction to you being attractive. good looking people are usually so much happier in life. ugly people, for lack of a better term, can live very miserable lives if they get hung up on their ill looks and lack of interested mates, which is the reality for most of these guys. thus the negative social behavior. if it really bothers you just ignore them and get away. but be cautious...there are some creeps you shouldn't let out of your sight as they'll might sneak up from behind. i'd avoid downtown after 3am.
The merc is pretty much just an extension of Jezebel these days.
Pero mira esa vaina, let the mansplaining begin!
Well Merc, since it seems all of us men are to blame for the oafish actions of a few assholes out there, how about a lecturing column detailing womens transgressions, as we all know they ain't all 'sugar and spice and everything nice'??
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