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Comment Archives: Last 7 Days

Re: “Horses

Hello, where do you think conventional wisdom says glue comes from? Not to mention betting on races, you got a lot to learn IA

Posted by Draconid on 07/31/2014 at 7:20 PM

Re: “Horses

I'm going to start a food cart that only serves horse meat

4 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Chunty McHutchence on 07/31/2014 at 7:18 PM

Re: “Thanks For Ruining My Nightcap

More than one pair of shoes? Shoes just for the house? What kind if elitist bourgeoisie are you?

Posted by Draconid on 07/31/2014 at 7:18 PM

Re: “Horses

Was it good to get out of the rain?

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Rick Klein on 07/31/2014 at 7:00 PM

Re: “Everything as Fuck

“It's about how fucking annoying it is when people don't let you complain. How is that not clear?”

Except of course when your complaint is about Ian’s writing, in which case he’ll threaten to shove his dong in your mouth.

Tune in next week kids when Ian uses his power of the pen to reflect on the crisis in Gaza while describing his beat-off session lying on his back with a pair of used mail-order panties draped over his face. In which he will draw the analogy of his cock as a Palestinian rocket and his tubby as Israel’s Iron Dome. Climaxing into a rant about how the one glob of spunk that landed perfectly in his navel cavity was just like that epic 3-point shot Lillard made during the playoffs. Finally, as the flaccidity sets in, he’ll share that he’s convinced the owner of said panties most likely had beef brisket as their last meal before they were sent off. Which of course makes him hungry.

Actually, I have to correct myself here. When Ian masturbates I think it’s technically described as a “reach around,” but I’d have to defer to Dan Savage for confirmation.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by zipitup on 07/31/2014 at 6:33 PM

Re: “Everything as Fuck

Then stop reading my column. Go fucking make something that isn't a miserable internet comment.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Ian Karmel on 07/31/2014 at 5:54 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous


Posted by gofigure on 07/31/2014 at 5:49 PM

Re: “Thanks For Ruining My Nightcap

I have no idea what house shoes are, but now I can't get the image out of my mind of some prize throwing a hissy fit in front a woman with gross short and little houses on her feet.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by mi astucia on 07/31/2014 at 5:27 PM

Re: “Horses

Horses truly steve no purpose. I just saw one posting pointless complaints anonymously on website.

2 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by mi astucia on 07/31/2014 at 5:14 PM

Re: “Stupid Meth Heads

I always base my rants on second-hand information from a "nice dude" I come across.

Posted by mi astucia on 07/31/2014 at 5:11 PM

Re: “The Final Gum Post

There should also be a no-post writing policy as well. But a full on blow job desk set aside for the masses to get blown.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Rick Klein on 07/31/2014 at 5:08 PM

Re: “Can't Sleep Here

Most of the poor who sleep outside spend several thousand dollars per year at the local super market with food stamps.

0 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Dread Uptown on 07/31/2014 at 4:54 PM

Re: “Horses

When the economy crashes due to World War causing shortages of gasoline, horses might come in handy to eat.

1 like, 2 dislikes
Posted by Dread Uptown on 07/31/2014 at 4:52 PM

Re: “Horses

I will wash the dishes, you go have a beer.....

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Rick Klein on 07/31/2014 at 4:43 PM

Re: “Horses

^^^ Agreed. They serve as much use as cows, without being quite as stupid as cows.

By the way, the preferred term is cattle.

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Jimmy Carter on 07/31/2014 at 3:53 PM

Re: “Can't Sleep Here

Thanks, Reverend. I don't know that I have an answer to your questions, other than working to provide better services. If it wasn't an intractable fight we'd have it solved by now, and it's understandable the city wants to clear up unpleasant situations.

But I'm also unclear on precisely how this helps. The travelers come in the summer, largely, and much of this enforcement has occurred in January. And once a homeless person is released from jail, they still won't have a place to stay. The shelters are insufficient for the number of homeless people in Portland. It's true a camper might reach out to JOIN or another social services organization but, then again, they might not. So they're back on the street, the very day they were arrested, in the exact same situation except there's a new criminal charge hanging over them. Maybe this convinces people to squirrel away in some bushes somewhere instead of sleeping on the sidewalk, but there's been targeted enforcement in those areas lately, too.

1 like, 1 dislike
Posted by Dirk VanderHart on 07/31/2014 at 3:50 PM

Re: “Everything as Fuck

You know what's more annoying than people not letting you complain? Listening to you complain.

Posted by snickerdoodle on 07/31/2014 at 3:39 PM

Re: “Everything as Fuck

I mean, do you want an honest answer to that question, uggers? Or do you just want me to tell you to fuck off?

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Ian Karmel on 07/31/2014 at 3:37 PM

Re: “Stupid Meth Heads

When referring to meth-heads, while somewhat redundant, it's best to preface said reference with the term "toothless."

In order to qualify as a true meth-head, one must be missing at least 50% of their teeth. This can refer to overall number of teeth, or the percentage of actual rot.

Posted by RickStevens on 07/31/2014 at 3:27 PM

Re: “I, Anonymous

Hey assholes, here's the deal:
Service Animals are trained to do certain tasks for their disabled person. You need to start with a very particular type of dog, then continue to train it as long as you have it.
Therapy Pets are for people with such problems as social anxiety, PTSD, etc. If you can't empathize with that, you're a total dick.
People who fake it with vests that aren't earned are also dicks.

Posted by knittress on 07/31/2014 at 3:12 PM

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