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Oct 21 mynamehere commented on I'm That Guy.
...that's how zipper merges are supposed to work though. You're supposed to use both lanes until the last moment. I know Portland's nicehole drivers don't really seem to get that, but you're basically patting yourself on the back for being a contrarian asshole when you're truthfully one of the handful of people using zipper merges correctly.
Oct 11 mynamehere commented on Dog Warrior.
Last year when there was that modest dusting of snow, a bunch of families brought their kiddos to sled down the hill at Frazer park (which was ridiculous with so little snow but whatever), which is in the off-leash section. They were monopolizing the entire off-leash section which would honestly have been fine if wasn't so the half bald asshole who was a) screaming at people for throwing balls where their kids were playing (in a dog park) and b) telling us we couldn't use the on-leash area as a compromise because that's illegal. Most dog owners just gave up and laughed at him flipping his shit while their dogs ran around.

So basically, fuck you, the lesson I want to teach my children is we are the most important family on the planet and can change well established rules on a whim because of how important we are.
Oct 7 mynamehere commented on Let Sleeping Dogs Lie... Somewhere Else.
Oh honey. This is adorable but not even close to how that would play out. If you're going to collect a dime of money for anyone for being too stupid to look where you're going and too passive to ask someone to move their dog, it'll be the coffee bar.

Use your words. It'll get you a lot father than your litigious day dreams, or an adorably naive belief that selfish people are going to suddenly pull their heads out of their asses and start paying attention to their surroundings.
Sep 29 mynamehere commented on Shut that dog the F*ck up.
I don't think it matters if anyone is sleeping or not. It's noise pollution. If someone's car alarm went off non-stop for 20 minutes most days, people would lose their shit. I had a dog would bark like crazy anywhere but home if we left her unattended, so we left her at home like any reasonable person would.

Also, I guess fuck people who work nights I guess. PandaPDX wants you to get your lazy ass out of bed and go back to work.
Sep 23 mynamehere commented on Kristen Schaal is Stumping for Hillary Clinton in Portland.
So Kurt Braunohler's frequent collaborator Kristen Schaal is going to be in town the same night he's taping his comedy special? What a crazy coincidence!
Sep 22 mynamehere commented on Pre-Roll Me Another One.
I've always figured pre-rolls are for tourists, people trying to smoke on-the-go and really casual smokers who don't know how to roll and don't have any glass.

I don't know why they're all like a gram each. Probably just easier to roll for walking-rasta-stereotype tolerance levels than to try to forecast and maintain inventory at multiple sizes. Most shops weigh our flower when you order but they're usually not rolling a J for you on the fly.
Sep 16 mynamehere commented on Outside Food.
Bringing outside food to a place that serves food is tacky as fuck. That said, reading this obnoxious rant with your weird, occasionally misplaces emphasis makes me want to bring indian food into your shop, order a water and stink up the joint while maintain eye contact.
Sep 13 mynamehere commented on First Day with Your New Bag, Huh?.
Is the "portland-esk" (esque is the world you're looking for) attitude you refer to here being the type of idiot who will just let themselves get hit 30 times while they silently sit and stew, never stopping to say anything?

Sure, people should make an effort to be more aware of their surroundings, but at some point you have to assume some responsibility in being the passive dolt who just sits and takes it.
Sep 6 mynamehere commented on Renters Need Not Apply.
PErhaps you would be less salty/needlessly defensive around a renter's perspective on landlord's passing the cost along if you realized how prevalent single family occupancy rental homes are. There are *tons* of low income people living in homes that would be forced to absorb the entire increase their landlord passes along. Lower income than you - that's why they're renting instead of buying. Grow the fuck up.
Jul 25 mynamehere commented on Smart as Shit.
If you're going to be this put out over people using a line correctly, go somewhere that has express lanes. No adult should be this whiney.