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Recent Comments

Re: “Don't Be a Dick, Rashida Jones

Women ARE competitive, but I believe this to be a more recent thing as it would make tribal relations really difficult. I think it's a result of monogamy/patriarchy/marketing (which could all fit under the umbrella of patriarchy).

2 likes, 4 dislikes
Posted by Viola on 12/15/2013 at 2:06 PM

Re: “Don't Be a Dick, Rashida Jones

"And MY POINT was to say YOU SOUND COMPETITIVE - because I was, again, aware that there is a competitive nature inherent in women BECAUSE OF (but not arguably also scientifically naturally occuring due to evolutions) social structures built since civilization."

Well, you're making assumptions. For one, I don't identify as a "woman," but more an agender person in a female body because I have a pretty masculine brain and land somewhere high-functioning on the ASD spectrum. No one thinks the men on here who are critiquing Barbara's article are "competing," so please stop stereotyping me.

Women aren't evolutionarily competitive. Theoretically, women developed more complex communication skills to settle disputes because it is extremely important to maintain functioning relationships with other women (women stay at home with babies and elders while men hunt). Women also don't need to compete for sex because we can choose and have sex with lots of partners freely and our eggs will be fertilized regardless. Another woman does not represent a threat to our reproduction. Men need to compete (which is why males of the species are often the ones with showy plumage, etc.) because they have lesser opportunity to pass on their genetic material. I'm not an evolutionary biologist, but that's what I've read.

2 likes, 7 dislikes
Posted by Viola on 12/14/2013 at 9:38 PM

Re: “Don't Be a Dick, Rashida Jones

If people are taking offense at my comparison of the n-word to the word slut, I in no way mean to detract from the awful, dehumanizing origins of that word. All I'm saying is that women have been used as sex slaves and considered inferior for centuries prior to the African diaspora. We continue to be raped, murdered, and sold into sex slavery on a scale that would be considered genocide or hate crime if it were inflicted on a racial group. We continue to be portrayed in the media as useful for one purpose in a way that would be abhorrent if it were aimed at a racial group. Gender violent language is used so liberally, women are referred to as female dogs in an entire genre of music and elsewhere, where it would be censored if that hatred were aimed at a racial group. Most sweatshop workers are women because they are considered more docile. Women are denied access to education, and that is the norm all over the world. The first slaves arrived in Virginia in 1619, and that racial injustice has continued until today. Women, however, were taken as child brides, beaten and kept as house-cleaning baby-making sex slaves with no education or representation since, well, Monotheistic religions took hold. People don't want to make the analogy, but it's important. The fact that people are unwilling to look at it makes it very clear that racial injustice takes precedence over gender injustice.

11 likes, 10 dislikes
Posted by Viola on 12/13/2013 at 7:16 PM

Re: “Don't Be a Dick, Rashida Jones

Brandy, the word slut is very much akin to the n-word. The n-word is considered positive to many black people, as it has become a synonym for "brother" when used in the right context. The struggle of black people has not been historically longer and harder than the struggle of women the world over. Women have been slaves for a lot longer than black people, whatever that category even means, because Africa is a whole fucking continent with diverse ethnic groups and a rich history. Don't forget that the first civilization began in Africa and they had slaves! Do black women in America have it harder than white women? You bet your fucking ass they do. But you will consistently see that women's privilege is lesser than men of all racial categories.

I don't need to rephrase what I say for your comfort. I would argue with someone about their use of the term "slut-shaming" regardless of their gender or feminist status. I'm not being nasty and competitive. I think you confuse "having an opinion and arguing it passionately" with competition. Therein lies the sexist assumption that women can't have a debate without it being about competition. If I wanted to compete with someone, it wouldn't be Barbara.

You ask "If you are on the same side of the greater argument that women should be treated with respect, why don't you present your argument to serve that purpose better?" Well, first off, because I don't consider the notion that "women should be treated with respect" as a dogma but an inborn attitude that is eroded by culture (much like racial equality -- What baby is born hating his or her mother? What little girl is born thinking she is inferior?). Criticizing Barbara or thinking she's misguided does not translate to me hating women as a whole. I would argue in the same way with a man or agender person, and don't give preferential treatment to women. I would want my opinions deconstructed as an equal, not a fragile flower who needs to be placated or patted on the back for effort.

9 likes, 10 dislikes
Posted by Viola on 12/13/2013 at 6:42 PM

Re: “Don't Be a Dick, Rashida Jones

"but one time I hooked up with a girlfriend of mine in the privacy of her room."

If it was in the privacy of her own room, for the two of you alone, then you wouldn't be discussing it in a public forum.

A lot of your comedy seems to be self-aggrandizing humblebrags aimed at being sexually arousing to men, instead of actually being witty or thoughtful like Sarah Silverman or Amy Schumer (two lady comics whose material mostly consists of sexual jokes). Case in point (from your twitter):

@barbaraholm I'm trying to do more charity work. Like right now I visit this poor unemployed young boy and help him eat... out my pussy.

@barbaraholm Body image standards are so hard right now, sorry not body image standards, men's dicks are hard right now, because of my butt

@barbaraholm Got called beautiful and told I had a horrible voice in the same hour #comedy

@barbaraholm I just spilled tempeh in my bra. Super gross, right? When did I start wearing bras again?

@barbaraholm Got hit on while reading a comic book while drinking alone in my friends bar. MY VULNERABILITY IS NOT AN INVITATION

@barbaraholm this guy told me I was really pretty, I was like gurl, you haven't even seen me cry yet

@barbaraholm I know I'm sorta cute or whatever but I wanna be the kind of pretty that is incapable of farting

It's like you are obsessed with pushing the idea on people that you are hot, and I don't consider that to be 1) entertaining comedy or 2) indicative of someone who is intent on dismantling patriarchy.

42 likes, 12 dislikes
Posted by Viola on 12/13/2013 at 6:17 PM

Re: “Don't Be a Dick, Rashida Jones

Please stop using the term "slut-shaming." It's disgusting and disrespectful to women. Women who are shamed for their sexuality are women, not sluts. If it's considered "taking back" the word, then why has it become acceptable for men to use it?

Rashida Jones was awesome to say what she said. As a young bisexual Feminist, I would like to see sexuality toned down a lot in our culture. I am inundated with images of scantily-clad or naked women everywhere I go. Frankly, it's distracting. I feel the same way about food advertisements or advertisements in general. It's like visual pollution constantly trying to manipulate me to buy something or adhere to some corporate agenda. They are using our bodies like a minstrel show for people's entertainment and corporate profits. I see nothing empowering about that.

Don't trample on another Feminist because she doesn't share your opinions; she's older than you and she may hold some wisdom that you haven't yet to grasp.

42 likes, 10 dislikes
Posted by EtsySeller on 12/13/2013 at 4:46 PM

Re: “Don't Be a Dick, "Funny" Guy

If you don't like her column, stop reading it. There is enough content on the Mercury to find something you DO like, and comment something remotely positive, instead of spewing your vitriol all over someone who is just doing her thang. Do you seriously feel the need to angrily express yourself whenever you read something you don't like or agree with? Do you not realize this is an actual person?

6 likes, 6 dislikes
Posted by EtsySeller on 11/26/2013 at 4:50 AM

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