Keyser Söze 
Member since Jun 14, 2010


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Recent Comments

Re: “I Made a Stand Today

Sorry you missed your opportunity and left the situation without satisfaction. Please send me your address and I'm happy to oblige. I have a selection of beatings for your choosing:

1. The 'ol Donnybrook: A classic, bare knuckle beatdown while I'm shitfaced on Irish Whiskey. Loss of teeth included.

2. The Jump In: Inspired by gang initiations in Los Angeles. My friends and I punch and kicked you to near death and then drop you anonymously in front of the ER of your choice.

3. Bounced!: I meet you at your favorite wateringhole and politely ask you to leave at which point you tell me to go "fuck myself!" I then haul you out to the street by your throat, stomp your guts out and hand you over to the local cops.

4. The Greek: This one will take you back to your pledge days. Group beating and humilation by challenging you to drink large volumes of alcohol and punching you in the gut until you pass out. Awaken in a pool of your own vomit and feces.

Of course I can always customize the beating to your specifications--If you can dream it up, I can beat you down!

9 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by Keyser Söze on 06/04/2014 at 12:59 PM

Re: “Dating and Going 50/50 on the Tab

"Camille Paglia is a cunt." --Keyser Soze

17 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Keyser Söze on 05/01/2014 at 3:53 PM

Re: “Thank You for the Gutter Melon

Way to hunt and gather in the urban environs!

6 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Keyser Söze on 05/01/2014 at 3:46 PM

Re: “For the Bible Tells Me So

Jeezus fucking Christ! What a bunch of God damn idiots!

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Keyser Söze on 12/04/2013 at 1:04 PM

Re: “Pearl Dissstrict

Looks like somebody needs to participate in a "Soup Kitchen."

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Keyser Söze on 11/27/2013 at 11:43 AM

Re: “Musical Nursery School

They're five you dick.

6 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Keyser Söze on 10/30/2013 at 12:28 PM

Re: “The Trailer for Wes Anderson's The Grand Budapest Hotel

1. The Royal Tenenbaums
2. Moonrise Kingdom
3. Bottle Rocket
4. The Life Aquatic
5. Rushmore
6. The Fantastic Mr. Fox
7. The Darjeeling Limited

Now, I know this goes against most Wes Anderson diehards as "Rushmore" is often viewed as his magnum opus but whatever...

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Keyser Söze on 10/17/2013 at 3:19 PM

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