Member since Aug 22, 2012

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Updated on August 22, 2012 at 1:57 PM

Recent Comments

Re: “How Real Life Works

It's not going to help, but just know that some people would kill for your "problems."

Manuscript after manuscript after manuscript? That's three more than I'll probably ever complete. Great reviews, refreshing, best book in the genre this year? That sounds preferable to the negative attention the other shit was getting. Or do you not care what kind of attention you get, as long as you're getting it?

People aren't blogging about it? You're not going on Oprah? So. fucking. what. People are idiots and assholes. The amount of people that like something is usually proportionate to how much I hate it. If by some miracle I get published and it becomes wildly popular I'll consider it an unforgivable failure on my part.

I'm certain you created something better than the trite crap everyone bitches about. Even without the positive reviews, the fact that you set out to make something other than tween drama masturbation fodder proves that. You did good work AND it got published. That's a major feat, and you should be proud of yourself.

But you need to figure out what you're writing for. If it's to get the New York Times to jack you off in print, I'd say get out now. If it's to get rich off the kind of reader that makes popular the sort of books you hate, you better quit while you're ahead. Because in your quest for popularity and fame you're going to end up making the same kinds of shit you despise, and then one day that loathing will turn in on you.

Allow me to quote a great movie about trying to make it big, with only the tiniest tweak:
You love the [work], or you love the crowd?

Because you only have control over one. And the other is unbearably stupid.

7 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by HHawkins on 08/30/2012 at 1:49 PM

Re: “Gay Bashing Fixie Rider

Jesus effing Christ. Just because someone called you a cocksucker does not mean they're homophobic. What if he'd called you a motherfucker? Would you be offended that he assumed you fucked moms?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sucking cocks. God bless anyone that does. But it's an insult! He was insulting you! It's not supposed to be PC or taken literally.

Were you in a car? Did your minor infraction (car or not) possibly scare the shit out of him because anytime a cyclist wrecks into something it's going to hurt like a bitch? Then you probably deserved it.

Certain cuss words are just so fun to fire off, and cocksucker is one of those. All of those hard consonants feel real good in a person's mouth. You can't expect an insult that's been around for over a hundred years (I looked it up) to suddenly disappear because the LGBT community is finally getting some much-deserved rights.

25 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by HHawkins on 08/29/2012 at 10:43 AM

Re: “Attn: PDX Women

Portland ladies (and gentlemen) by and large dress better than the other three disparate places in the country I've lived. Sure, you have smelly people with clothes that have all gone the same color as the ground they sit on, but overall PDX peeps dress really cute.

To all the Portlanders representing out there: You make me want to dress like a better man.

6 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by HHawkins on 08/28/2012 at 5:13 PM

Re: “Thank You for a New Experience

I always wanted to do this, but sadly all the people who endangered my life sped off too soon.

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by HHawkins on 08/24/2012 at 1:27 PM

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