there are literally hundreds of stupid expenses, but save the dates are important because, yes, your 70 year old aunt isnt going to even open the evite, and 8 weeks (the lead time on most invites) isn't enough time to make travel plans for a lot of people!
im a wedding planner and my favorite thing is DECONSTRUCTING THE PRINCESS PARTY! lets have a cool thing that represents YOU instead of some weird patriarchal song and dance, you know?
there are a milli ways to save money -- buy a used dress! dont wear a tux! do beer and wine (or no booze at all!) instead of an open bar/champagne! have a barbecue instead of a 6 course plated dinner! have your loved ones make various deserts and do a desert bar instead of a ridic cake! -- but the things that make sure your loved ones can get to the wedding, like save the dates, are important.
i also think that the shared experience of listening to and loving terrible pop punk (and ska! i mean, don't forget about the ultimate black mark on someone's music report card) is about ten thousand times more interesting than jocking the new japandroids (which is an incredible album).
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