David Icke be damned! Kris Kristofferson is an American God! Possibly the hottest slab of beautiful muscled man meat to win a Rhodes Scholarship, Kristofferson was giving head with just his voice (“To Beat the Devil”) back when Leonard Cohen was still whining monotonously! He can fly helicopters! And he’s adorably old fashioned/out dated, recently (well, a few years ago) releasing a song about Sinead O’Connor’s 1992 appearance on SNL. People! We must stop the fluoridation’s campaign to attack our National Heroes! This maligning of KrisKris cann-- Wait... What was this about?
"Surfed"? John McClane may wrestle a goddamned fighter jet out of the sky with his bare hands, but no, Mr. Henriksen, he does not "surf", thank you. These are not your Grandmother's action flicks where Neo doesn't fly when Johnny Castle simply fades into the sea, nor are they genre-besmirching travesties opening with 007's assault on North Korea via "hanging-ten". These are fucking Die Hard movies. So please, let's not have this maligning of awesomeness.
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