Correction, Humpy: The sister of Tara, mother of Megan, was named Lily, not MELODY.
She may also be referred to as "not Maggie."
Oh maaan, that is f*cking disgusting!
The fact that you ate at Izzy's.
Do you really think your wife would leave you? If you told her you've been dishonest about a part of your past (a part that I assume pre-dates your marriage), exlain why it's something you've never felt you could come clean about, tell her your thoughts & fears, the way keeping up this facade all these years has made you feel, and shared your organic desire to come clean? I wouldn't expect understanding/acceptance/forgiveness to happen overnight, but you truly believe she'd leave you?
You seem like an intelligent, interesting, and self-aware person; I hope your wife values those qualities over your federally recognized level of education.
New to Portland? You don't say...
WE DON'T CARE ABOUT NUDITY IN GYM LOCKER ROOMS BC WHO THE F*CK CARES ABOUT NUDITY IN A GYM LOCKER ROOM, IT'S JUST A HUMAN BODY, NO ONE IS DISGUSTING, PORTLANDERS KNOW THIS.
Also, you could try not gawking at a stranger's junk.
Attitude, charisma, and personal grooming are more important deal-makers/breakers now than ever.
Hank had my two favorite lines from last night: "It's ASAC Schrader, and you can go f--k yourself," and the harrowing "You're the smartest guy I've ever met. Yet you're too stupid to see he made up his mind ten minutes ago."
*raises glass of whiskey* to Hank!
"frothy present" just makes me think of "quivering member."
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