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Thunder Junkie

Updated on December 5, 2008 at 3:51 PM

Recent Comments

Re: “The Portland Thunder: A Sports-Themed Fever Dream

Ahhh it sounds like Arena football hasn't changed a bit. Have you been banned from the Beavers games, and all local high school baseball fields for "violent outbursts"? MMA have too few participants and not enough concussions for you? Bought these tickets from your coworker's kid's fundraiser and felt obliged to use them?

Arena football has something for all of you.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by jarvitron on 07/02/2014 at 8:00 AM

Re: “Oregonian Reports Cartopia Slated for Redevelopment

Yeah, anybody who wants to get some cheap rent please come keep Parkrose weird with me (also keep the meth fiends, I mean uhhh "white walkers" beyond the "wall" aka the train tracks north of Sandy Blvd). People have babies out here it's weird. Please send food carts and a coffee shop that is not a bikini barista or Sbux.

2 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by jarvitron on 05/23/2014 at 9:34 AM

Re: “Let's Do It: Happy Movember!

Where are we at on toe hair? Because I'm big into that.

7 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by jarvitron on 11/25/2013 at 11:44 AM

Re: “The NSA Tapped Into Google and Yahoo Data Centers All Over the World

I believe you all radically overestimate the quality of talent that federal institutions hire to build their shit (on the above the board budgets that will get yelled and screamed about if they go over estimates) and radically underestimate the quality of talent that federal institutions hire to break into shit (on the black book budget that literally has no bottom).

Posted by jarvitron on 10/31/2013 at 8:25 AM

Re: “Fuck AMC

Also, I consider Jane walking them up to the "new floor" and opening up the doors to be Mad Men's version of when Gunn gets shown the White Room at Wolfram and Hart and gets to pick the form of the conduit. A teasing promise at a trite but possibly delicious dessert of story that ends up being a short walk to a stale shortbread cookie.

Posted by jarvitron on 08/06/2013 at 9:30 AM

Re: “Fuck AMC

Walt kills Jesse to save himself. Only natural ending. Old kills young to stave off inevitable death, and death of innocence is complete. Or flip it and force Jesse to kill Walt (to save himself from Walt's attempt), and make that narrative switch to Jesse, the Son of Chaos-that-seeks-more, stuck in the whatever-happens-next, without his mentor or even a sweet memory of it because of the bitter end. It's good TV and good acting and lots of fun. But admittedly I'd kickstartribute to a one man show called "untitled Bryan Cranston storytelling while picking his toenails and ear wax project". The story is pretty simple because that way they could get the maximal number of seasons by stretching the middle. A different set of writers could turn it and make it about Skyler but... that's not happening, sorry feminism! She turned out to be a vagina setpiece and a bit of a refrigerator girlfriend, since none of their reconciliations have been anything meaningful or real, she's just a photograph of youthful lust, also-- child caretaker.

Mad Men I am less enthusiastic about. It's good but I never miss it when it's gone and I never wonder what those characters are up to when I'm not dragged through another compromise hatefuck in their slurry of horrible days. Ever wonder "What would Lane think of these events?" except when a still-living character yells, out loud "What would Lane think about these events?" I sure as shit don't. And when asked to I think... I dunno "Whoa so super broke." Or "Jane, I think I really have a shot there" which is what he was thinkin' the last time anything meaningful moved forward in the story.

Posted by jarvitron on 08/06/2013 at 8:52 AM

Re: “This Week's Cover

Yes it would be impossible to connect with that living breathing artist whose website and contact info I just visited and commission a work from him so FUCK YOU MERCURY.

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by jarvitron on 07/29/2013 at 4:47 PM

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