Hey Ann, big fan. But your rigorous full-time occupation of reading and reporting celebrity drivel has left you somewhat bereft of what's actually going on in this country. All of the recent school/Batman shooting atrocities have occurred in places with stricter gun laws - compelling evidence that banning weapons does NOT stop insane people from doing insane things. In Mexico there is a country-wide ban on weapons and gun violence there is apocalyptic in scale because LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS HAVE NO WAY TO DEFEND THEMSELVES FROM RUTHLESS GANGSTERS AND UBER-CORRUPT POLICE WHO DO NOT GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT LAWS. And while the media (your team!) plays and replays tape of these isolated incidents, in which the stories frequently don't add up (Why does the Sandyhook student shooter have NO school records? Why was the theater shooter "easily apprehended in the parking lot", never to be heard of again?), The Department of Homeland Security has purchased over 1.6 billion rounds of high-power ammunition over the past year – enough to wage a 20 year plus ground war. If you really care, read some history. EVERY movement by a government to disarm its people has ALWAYS been followed by Martial Law. The second amendment wasn't written so Dick Cheney could go hunting with his "buds", it was written so law-abiding citizens could protect themselves from a corrupt government turning on its own people, something our forefathers LIVED THROUGH, not watched on CNN. I adore you Ann, but wake up. Or stick to the smut. I read your column to laugh at rich people, which you are very good at. That world, though a complete fantasy, is much cozier and comfier than the nightmare brewing in our country. If you want to write about real events - and I say this with love - become a real journalist.
Great advice as always Dan. But for the agoraphobic virgin, I'm compelled to add on a little. Like many 22 year-olds, his obsession with sex borders on psychotic (22 year old me - Guilty!!). It seems to me that just about anyone, including his loving and understanding family, suspects that a fling with a prostitute will almost definitely NOT help him with his social disorder. The excuse (can't pursue a job?? gimme a break!) will be gone, but what then? Maybe monthly or even weekly paid dates? Obviously there's no financial worry about the cost, this man is being fully supported anyway. Where the weakness prevails is that no one seems to have told him that all the sex in the world won't make him more socially adept - with ANYONE, let alone a potential partner. Being slightly agoraphobic myself, I can imagine how severe it can get for some. But over-coddling by paying all someone's bills - including paying for his prostitutes - is never going to help someone reach out to other human beings. If anything, tell the brother to get a paper route and save up the money himself, but make sure he understands that paying for sex does not lead to honest, fulfilling intimate relationships. I would have advised the sister to go with caution as well as deeper communication on the subject first. Isn't there a danger that losing his virginity to a paid sex worker might affirm his self limitation? He'd be going from being an anxious, agoraphobic virgin to being an anxious, agoraphobic non-virgin whose only sexual experience had to be paid for. From being a "late bloomer" to a guy that has to pay for sex. Self confidence doesn't come from having things handed to you, but from achieving things for your self. At this point the sex worker solution has been given your golden blessing, so its most likely a done deal by the time you read this, and for his family's sake I hope the boy feels better. But when the sister writes back to tell you her brother is still no closer to pursuing a job, having a social life or tackling the obstacles of life, recommend that he try socializing online, where he'll have unlimited "safe" opportunities to find out what behavior people do - and don't - find attractive.
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