Mara,
I had hoped that by way of an obviously lame joke, the readers of this post would become privy to the ridiculousness of the actions of the offender. I am nothing if not a devout practitioner of love for any and all things, and a model for self-control. BUT, I can see why, even inadvertently, this may have raised some red flags, and I'll do my best to temper the flames on my sordid scope of idiotic world events from here on out.
-Ryan J. Prado
Thinking about dying my hair red.