Had you paid attention you would have seen that I was riding on the sidewalk going the opposite direction of the lane nearest me, this is because the lane going my way was occupied by a police officer and the idiot he pulled over. Talk about the inequities of life, after working a 10 hour shift I have to cross a 4 lane road and in full view of the police and obviously you, commence with breaking the law. To say it's unfair is an understatement, there I was hoping against hope that I wasn't going to get a ticket, which I cant afford to pay anyway, because people don't seem to know how to pull off the road when they get stopped by the cops. If you can image some guy just parking his car in the middle of the road, this bike lane is my road, why should I have to get off my bike and walk it around only to futaly try to get up enough momentum (again) to make it up the hill without passing out. Next time I suggest you and your fellow drivers keep your eyes on the road, that way you can avoid swerving into the bike lane on a regular basis. We real everyday bicyclists can take care of our own without any help from our fairweather friends.
I think that the pejorative in question is "hipster thief" leaving out the still appreciated hipster intellectual, hipster barista, hipster bicyclist (although I have also heard that in the pejorative). I would submit that by stealing from local business they are neither hip nor any other variation of that word. I would suggest instead that they falsely pose a hip attitude insomuch as they are posers. So let us henceforth call them poser thieves and remove the word hipster from the aforementioned negative connotation. [Makes farting sound with lips, wags middle finger at audience, and exits left]
Look I understand why you're angry but I want you to understand that women are not turned off because you're not being an asshole and that for some mysterious reason this is what they want. I've heard this argument before and I must admit that I was tempted to believe in it at one point in my life, but the truth is that this is not the answer, this is just another way to make yourself more bitter and self hating. So I will tell you two rules that changed my life, they are basic rules of dating that you must follow if you want to avoid the dud.
Rule 1, never date a girl that doesn't have a job and a car or some means of transportation, school doesn't count unless they are working;
Rule 2, never date a girl that watches more tv than you do, and cut back on the tv time yourself (8pm-10pm 2 days a week max);
These two very simple rules work on a very deep level; first of all a girl that doesn't have a job, has way too much time on her hands to pick and pick and pick at the relationship, in her own head, until it no longer exists; second if you're driving her around places then you're spending too much time together, or if it is too much of a hassle for her to meet you, it all starts to fall apart; third the type of girl that watches too much tv, has chosen that fake world of the tv, where all the dialogue is written by Communications and English majors and read by fictional multimillionaire 24 year olds with rock hard abs and 2 percent body fat...you can't possibly measure up to that, you're just human; also this type of person always seems to think that they are much better looking then they really are so...step back...breath...they are just 2 simple rules, ever since I started using them, I have had nothing but success in finding and dating real women, who have real expectations and who live real lives in the real world. Good luck.
I would like the the cheeseburger, hold the bacon
I would like the amuse bouche, hold the bacon
I would like the pizza, hold the bacon
I would like the general chois, hold the bacon I can't have bacon
I would like the cheese fries, hold the bacon, I'm allergic, It's against my faith....
I would like the roast beef sandwich, hold the friggen bacon
It's just that easy.
Dear Indecent Proposal, I think you're sexy, both physically and personally. I like that you are interested in all girl Punk bands that I have never heard of. I like that you are into modern art and gothic literature, I can listen to you go on and on about, Fernand Léger, Juan Gris, Albert Gleizes, and Marcel Duchamp, I am more than happy to let you read to me from The Priest, The Mysteries of Uldolpho, or the Castle of Otronto, don't get me wrong Walpole's the man, but eventually you're going to have to put out. I am not a friend, you are not a religious or a virgin by any means and while we have made out I would like to take this thing to the next level. I guess the best approach is the direct approach, but since that seems to piss you off so much I don't know what the hell to do...maybe you can illuminate me.
People aren't dying by the hands of cops Rusty!. They are dying of sheer stupidity. When an officer has his sidearm out and he is yelling at the top of his lung for you to stop or he will shoot you, then by the porcelain buddha you had better stop. Your little hipster friends who are shouting "pig" from the sidelines sure as shitten aren't going to be able to stop that bullet from smashing through your stupid face and you can be assured when you find your life flashing past your eyes that you pulled the trigger just as surely as that office did. Douche.
I totally agree with this Anon. If you don't know a person and you just launch into a tirade of conversation, then you are being creepy.
Here are a few rules of thumb to avoid looking creepy.
One rule I learned during the 80s while living in pre-Juliani New York, it's called "The Line Rule" and it goes like this,
If you're in a line with someone or waiting at a bus stop with someone and a conversation occurs between you then you should know that it is not appropriate to try to continue the conversation after you get on the bus or after you get to the front of the check out line. You run the risk of looking stalkerish and this is the best way of getting maced in a Starbucks parking-lot or knifed at a subway terminal.
A second rule I learned more recently while living in Florida is the "rule of proportions" which states that your attractiveness is inversely proportional to the distance between the-person-you-are-attracted-to's age and your age, that your attractiveness is directly proportional to the amount of money you make, and that it is directly proportional to your social skills.
This is why the guy came off so creepy, he wasn't her age and he had no social skill, and he didn't have even the small amount of money needed to buy the poor girl a drink.
Oh and "You have nice skin?!" Really? That's creepy!
Might as well say, "Nice skin. I'm looking at your breasts," or "Nice skin. I want to wear it."
What a metard.
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