Sorry, correct that "I flirted with Mr. Freedom, and ALL I got was two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!"
Dear Mercury, I am positively honored to have been selected your "Letter of the Week," but unfortunately, I am actually leaving Portland in about an hour for a long overdue trip overseas and will not return until September. However, I don't want the tickets to go to waste, so please give them to the first person willing to come down to your office and say "I flirted with Mr. Freedom, and I'll I got was two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!" Thanks again, and I will let you know if my overseas flirting is any more successful than that of the average Portlander when I get back.
Men, y'all need to relax and chill out. If I were a woman, I'd be pretty freaked out by some of the almost violent comments on this thread. Heck, I'm freaked out as it is. On the other hand, some of the women are positively ageist and sexist in their comments. Here's a suggestion -- how about everyone learn some fundamental manners, including using the words "Hello," "How are you?" and "Do you mind if I sit here?" And how about taking "no" graciously? And learn how to freakin' joke a little with your fellow man or woman. No one is guaranteed amorous attention from anyone, it's something you earn by your behavior. No wonder so many people in Portland are frustrated, if this thread is any indication. Between sleazy guys making oily comments and needlessly cruel gals berating lonely old men, it's a wonder anybody has a peaceful cup of joe in this town. It's not that hard being polite and friendly and respectful, really. Just try it once, you'll be surprised at how people react. Most women like it when you show genuine interest in them, not when you automatically take offense at the littlest slight as if you're entitled to their attention. And not every guy who fumbles when he flirts is a jerk, he may not be your type, but you don't have to make him feel like he's worthless just because he made a mistake. A lot of guys, including decent ones, can lose their confidence if they keep striking out, so cut 'em some slack even if you find them a bit awkward and off-putting. And a lot of women have been victimized by violent men, so it pays to not act like another one of them and be aware that many women are scared of men coming on too strongly. Okay, back to flirting.
@Lady: I appreciate that women have it rough when it comes to fending off unwanted advances. I always tell my female friends not to accept open drinks from strangers, walk them to their cars, that kind of thing. I was trying to add a little levity to a rather polarizing debate, and one particularly strong in Portland, where men and women can't seem to make up their minds how to meet and mate without turning it into a psychological battlefield instead of having some fun with it all. My point is, most men and women today don't really know how to flirt or tell someone where to get off, which is why the young lady who posted this was offended by what I saw was rather silly banter from Mr. Rockabilly Dude. If you reread my post, you'll notice I was actually making fun of men more than women -- I'm always telling guys to be a lot more casual when flirting. The key is for a woman to not even know you're interested, not make it so obvious her skin crawls. But I feel I will get hammered by all sides if I continue commenting, so I wish you a safe and happy time wherever you go! Back to flirting ...
I would file this under the "lost art of flirting" category. Sounds like this poor guy and put upon woman don't actually know how to flirt or deftly reject advances.
Men, compliments on a woman's appearance will always be misinterpreted. So don't make them till you've known her at at least 10 years. Stick to inoffensive jokes and pro-Obama statements in Portland.
Men, it's also pretty easy to tell if a woman is into you. She actually looks at you and smiles without appearing to be straining. Sometimes she looks away if she can't handle your powerful haunting gaze. But then she will steal a look back. When you're not looking. So you'll never know. And die alone.
Women, if you're not into a man, it's easy to simply say, "I'm waiting for my boyfriend, who just got sworn in as a Portland police officer." that tends to work. Unless the guy hitting on you is a cop. Or an anarchist. but then he'll be busy smashing the window of the coffee shop, not actually asking you on a date.
after reading your reply to me, pdx4shame, i stand by my original comment that you need a family. and, apparently, a backrub as well. i actually have more than a GED -- i have a gift certificate left over from Christmas 2008 that I forgot to spend, and damn if it just expired the other day! don't you hate when that happens, I do?! Anyway, I don't know of anyone who "has kids for their own selfish reasons" since if spending thousands of dollars on children for two to three decades is your definition of selfishness, i'd hate to see your definition of altruism, since I imagine I'd have to die in battle while breastfeeding an abandoned kitty or something. As for teams having to have the home crowd on their side to win a game, yeah, there's something to that, but I believe you win games because you play better, not because family fucks like me are protecting our children's ears from the latest profane tirade you're spewing because you can't handle your watered-down beer, so we have to leave since if there's one thing the average single, perpetually unlaid male in America doesn't understand is how to actually behave in a manner that can get them laid and, oh, maybe skip the basketball game for some real layups.
Not for nothing, pdx4shame, but what exactly is a "family fuck"? I assume most people come from some sort of family, even if it's not their own biological one. And I believe there would be no families at all without fucking of some kind. In fact, there would be no YOU you big galoot! However, if you and other Blazer fans have no families to speak of because they abandoned you, I can understand your resentment and rage at those of us who are family fuckheads, and would like you to consider possibly befriending one in your neighborhood. Maybe they will invite you to a Blazers game where you can sit with other family fucks and cheer the fuckin' Blazers!
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