If you cant catch the satire of this column then you are probably one of those white people who exclaim " portland is so white" all the time or you're just too fucking stupid and your reading comprehension is stuck at 4th grade level. Anyways.... For the idiots who didnt catch the message: No, Portland is not white as fuck. If you think it is it's because you're white. Portland isnt anything. It just is.
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