Portland Mercury: Savage Love

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0800

Full Disclosure by Dan Savage I am a happily married, happily nonmonogamous male. We are not wild swinger types. For us it's more about the fact that monogamy does not work than about nailing everything that walks by. Anyway, I have encountered an odd situation a few times now, and again last night, where I'll be flirting with a potential fling and she knows I'm married and she's very interested. But when she finds out my marriage is nonmonogamous, she suddenly backs out. Case in…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0800

The Dominant Effect by Dan Savage I AM A 30-YEAR-OLD woman, married for five years to a man eight years my senior. Lately I have become more aware that I am turned on by the idea of bondage, specifically men locked up in chastity devices. I am ashamed of myself because it seems, well, pretty perverse and disturbed. My husband is a pretty dominant alpha-male type. I am a relatively dominant personality, but I'm a bit submissive around him in order to keep the peace, as…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0800

Taking the Lead by Dan Savage I'm a 20-year-old girl, and I've been dating my boyfriend, who is 23, for two years. From the get-go, he has known that I am bi, and like most straight guys, he's happy to be with a girl who likes girls. The thing is, I am too shy to go out and hit on a girl. Getting a man was the easy part, but getting a girl who is willing to fuck around not only with me but also with…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Fantasies Limited by Dan Savage I'M A 67-YEAR-OLD WOMAN, almost 68, who has been married four times—once widowed (with three kids in their 40s who've turned out pretty well), divorced three times. I recently met someone online: 48, a wealthy, educated man with two boys, 12 and 14. He lives the cuckoldt lifestyle and is looking for a woman to marry who would participate and enjoy this with him. He says he "craves and needs" this lifestyle, and from what he's said so far, the…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Taking the Plunge by Dan Savage I'm a straight teenage male, but I can't climax unless I am stimulating my anus or rectum. I use various objects like cucumbers. The reason I don't buy a toy is that I live in a very religious household and my parents would disown me if they found a sex toy in my room. I take a toilet plunger and wrap the handle with toilet paper and tissues. Then I take a plastic bag and put it over the top.…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Big, Big Love by Dan Savage I'm a 25-year-old girl dating a 26-year-old guy. My boyfriend identifies as sexually submissive. He likes to be tied up, put in women's underwear, and locked in a chastity device, and he has a strong urge to please. I hate the term, but I suppose you could call me a "feeder." I am turned on by the idea of someone eating a lot of food, usually junk food, and putting on weight. It's probably related, but I'm also a bit…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

On the Fence by Dan Savage MY PARTNER AND I have a dilemma. We're a straight couple. Our lives and finances are intertwined, and we are already essentially living as a married couple. Now we want to hold a ceremony with family and friends to make public the commitment we've already made privately. That said, we are in favor of marriage equality and are considering joining the marriage boycott (unmarried.org) until DOMA is repealed and every state allows gay marriage. Our friends and family say we…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

All About "Me" by Dan Savage About a month ago, I got drunk and slept with my friend's girlfriend. (He's not my best friend, more of a second-tier friend.) We both swore never to tell anyone and left it at that. Only problem is, we've been hanging out a lot lately and sending private messages to each other multiple times a day, but nothing physical. It's progressed to the point that our mutual friends are starting to notice that there's something going on between the lady…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Textbook Definition by Dan Savage You are known far and wide as an arbiter of all aspects of sex and especially definitions of sex, so we are hoping that you can give your definitive opinion on an interesting conundrum. My wife and I were recently regaling each other with anecdotes from our past, and she easily had the most interesting story: It seems that when she was a young woman in college, a fellow student invited her over for lunch. It turns out that he…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Porn de la Concorde by Dan Savage My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year. He knows I am an insecure person when it comes to my body. I'm not overweight, I've been told my whole life how good-looking I am, and my boyfriend tells me he loves my body. We have an active and interesting sex life. Here is my problem: I get upset when he looks at porn. I never had a problem with porn until my previous boyfriend (he preferred porn…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Wanna Be My Dog? by Dan Savage As a 43-year-old single gay guy, I recently had my first spanking experience and am now feeling extreme guilt and self-loathing. I was in a very long-term vanilla relationship for most of my adult life and never got to experience anything remotely kinky, but I've had an interest in it. Long story short, I answered an online personal ad, went to this guy's house, and let him paddle me (he had a lot of spanking equipment). I quickly blew and…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Wanting to Be Wanted by Dan Savage I love my boyfriend of three years, but I fucked up. We've had our ups and downs—he broke up with me for two months last summer because he said he was "young and needs to feel free"—but we've always worked through things. He is super supportive of me, and we've both really grown a lot as people together. But despite the affection and love, I just don't feel wanted. I don't feel like he wants to fuck my brains out…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Savage Love

news@portlandmercury.com (Dan Savage) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Blowing Sunshine by Dan Savage There was a letter in your column recently that must have been painful for you to receive. I refer to the letter signed God Hates You. I'm sure you're no stranger to hate mail, being an openly gay sex-advice columnist, but I hope you get fan mail too. But just in case: I wanted you to know that your column means a lot to me, and I love your bluntness, openness, and honesty. It is comforting to see a pragmatic,…]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]