Video, Portland Mercury

Chatum Deserves Better Than This

Bobby Roberts — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 10:45:00 -0700

Erik Henriksen is out today, so as the office's Chatum Tot #2, it falls to me to blog about Jimmy Kimmel's latest bit of business, a music video called "Channing All Over My Tatum," featuring Jamie Foxx, Channing Tatum, Gabourey Sidibe, and Miley Cyrus. It goes a little something like this:

It's a fine attempt, but it doesn't really work. Mostly because (and I'm sure Erik would agree with me) there's too much stuff that isn't Chatum. And when there is Chatum, he isn't being his charming, suave, ridiculously handsome self. He's being a weird caricature of himself. Jamie Foxx is being Willie Beaman from Any Given Sunday, and that's cool—

—but when Chatum is on screen, I want CHATUM. RAW. UNCUT. THUMB-HEADED LIP-LICKING VAGUELY CONFUSED-LOOKING CHANNING FUCKING TATUM.

Instead I got Jimmy Kimmel making a jizz joke about his mom and Miley Cyrus eating some skittles. Eh. Whatever. Your mileage may vary.

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This Week in Sex

Rose Finn — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 10:14:00 -0700

In greedy douchebag news, a Christian school in Nebraska is not only expelling a student for being in a lesbian relationship mere months away from her graduation, but is now also charging her the $6,000 tuition that was due the semester she was expelled. Before being slapped with a bill, Grace University made Danielle Powell see Christian mentors, engage with spiritual advisers, and promise not to engage in sex. Powell was not aware that the people running her school were virgin Dungeons and Dragon masters that still lived with their mothers and needed more money to buy lube and light sabers.

Porn star “Stoya Fleshlight” talked to Huff Post this week about how she’s “ruined porn for her dad.” Now when he goes online to whack off to porn, it’s nearly inevitable that he’ll run into some pop-up ad of a sex toy modeled after his daughter’s vagina. This, apparently, also applies the other way around; any time Stoya is acting in a porn scene, she is vividly reminded of the months of neglect her father used to bestow upon her.

The house judiciary committee has advanced a bill this week that would outlaw abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy. When one Democrat asked how the policy would apply with instances of rape, GOP Arizona representative Trent Franks said occurrences of pregnancy from rape were “actually very low.” “I’ll show you ‘low,’” said millions of American women, readying their fists.

Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” has quickly become the number one song in the country, and its music video has been sparking all kinds of controversy. The video consists of Robin Thicke’s beady little eyes staring at us, wearing a full suit (alongside T.I. and Pharrell) while models prance around appearing nude, like a bunch of anorexic babies. Meanwhile, balloons float through the music video at one point, saying, “Robin Thicke has a big dick.” “Oy vey, he wishes,” sighed Robin Thicke’s mother.

George Boak, a spiritual healer in the UK, has been charged with sexually abusing two women, with a third accusing him of the same charge during his trial. George Boak was known to heal physical pain, but in the instances of sexual abuse, he asked the women to take off their clothes, and touched them inappropriately. When one victim asked what he was doing, he reportedly responded, “sorry, I got carried away.” Incidentally, Boak has also “gotten carried away” with his hand, his Starbucks barista, his grade 8 math teacher, and one particularly uncomfortable instance with his single-speed Schwinn bicycle.

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A New Trailer for Anchorman 2! :D

Erik Henriksen — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 09:44:00 -0700

I think we can all agree that this—and I do not offer such praise lightly—is the second-best thing that has ever been set to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'."

Good day.

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Good Morning, News!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 09:28:00 -0700

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! How would you like to fly? That's how my queen should ride. But you still deserve the crown or hasn't it been found? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

The Taliban has set up a makeshift embassy in Qatar, scuttling peace talks with Afghanistan who is super pissed at them AND the US military.

The FBI has been found innocent in 150 shootings over the last two decades. (Hey, who does that remind you of?)

Iceland is in informal talks with NSA leaker Edward Snowden over a possible asylum deal. UGH! Iceland? Take your chances with America, Edward!

German Chancellor Merkel challenges President Obama on America's snoopy investigations on private citizens, and Obama's all like, "Well, those investigations stopped terrorist attacks on German soil, so boom! Comments closed!"

Obama calls on Russia to join him in slashing their nuclear weaponry, and they're like, "Well let us think about it for a secNO."

This just in: the body of Jimmy Hoffa is still missing! Stay tuned for more non-news about things that have not been found.

The Men's Wearhouse spokesman (the "I guarantee it!" guy) has been fired and nobody knows why. (The Mercury would totally hire him... if we could only find something we could "guarantee" other than mediocrity.)

Buzzfeed reporter Michael Hastings (whose reporting led to the retirement of Gen. Stanley McChrystal) has died in a car crash.

Yodeling country & western star Slim Whitman dies at the age of 90.

Katy Perry divulges that former hubby Russell Brand divorced her via text message. YOU MONSTER!!!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Showers this afternoon, a somewhat dry weekend, and rainy rain early next week!

And finally, walking internet meme "Double Rainbow Guy" returns and this time he's being overly enthusiastic about forest fires. (Will Oklahoma tornadoes be next?)

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New Die Antwoord Video: Yo-Landi's Ass Edition

Marjorie Skinner — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:44:00 -0700

The latest Die Antwoord music video dropped today, for "Cookie Jumper," in case you missed your daily WTF.

This honestly seems like the most normal thing they've ever done. Yo-Landi infantilizing herself is kind of business as usual, and I only counted three cats in this entire video, which hurts their overall average of animal usage significantly. However, as always, there is something of a teaching moment in the opening skit, where we're delivered a little hint about South Africa's "Numbers" gang, whose mythology is impressively intricate. There's also a cameo-in-tattoo of the Cape Town Americans. Otherwise it's just kind of a rape fantasy jam that features some really nice crocheted bras.

Are we bored of them yet? I think I am, although I will say that their show at the Roseland last time they were in town was about 10 times as fun

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NW Film Center Announces Top Down: Rooftop Cinema Lineup

Erik Henriksen — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 14:59:00 -0700

Every summer, the NW Film Center shows some movies on top of the Hotel deLuxe's parking structure; preceded by bands and with plentiful amounts of booze on hand, it's a fairly delightful way to spend a summer evening, provided you get there early enough to fight off the bluehairs and secure some good seats. This summer's Top Down: Rooftop Cinema series just got announced, and it's good, with one truly excellent selection:

July 25 – Thursday 8 p.m.
JOUR DE FÊTE
Band: Lincoln’s Beard

August 1 – Thursday 8 p.m.
DANCING OUTLAW I & II: JESCO GOES TO HOLLYWOOD
Band: Barry Brusseau

August 8 – Thursday 8 p.m.
ZELIG
Band: Jaime Leopold and the Short Stories

August 15 – Thursday 8 p.m.
BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
Band: TBA

August 22 – Thursday 8 p.m.
THE HUNGER
Band: Foreign Talks

August 29 – Thursday 8 p.m.
SWING TIME

Well okay, I guess that's fine and all, while Bill and Ted is cleary going to be the most fun, I wouldn't be surprised if The Hunger turns out to be pret—WAIT. WHAT. HOW CAN THE BAND BE "TBA" FOR BILL AND TED? Are you telling me you couldn't get every Portland band ever to do an awesome Wyld Stallyns tribute act? Are you even kidding me? How is this not happening?

Other than that, should be fun. More info's over at the nwfilm.org.

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The Daily Show on Poor, Bullied Christians

Paul Constant — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 14:29:00 -0700

This is glorious:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Daily Show on Facebook

Semi-related: Am I crazy, or is John Oliver a really good Daily Show host?

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The Best (Miniature) Car Chase You'll See All Day!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 13:59:22 -0700

Check out this hilariously awesome car chase using Matchbox-sized cars—and three hip hoorays for whoever did the sound editing on this mini-cinematic masterpiece.

via

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Warped Tour: A Meditation on Aging

Alison Hallett — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 12:29:00 -0700

Okay, guys. For the first Worst. Night. Ever. of our new season, you decided to send me to Warped Tour, and so to Warped Tour I went—to the disappointment of my close friends and family, who know that nothing, but NOTHING, sounds worse to me than an "ecstatic dance DJ party." You effed the dog on that one, Internet. And I have even more bad news: It was belatedly determined that the band i was supposed to see, Falling in Reverse, was not in fact playing in Portland. So Steve and Ned picked out another band deemed suitably awful, the poetically named Like Moths to Flames.

Here's my disclaimer before we get into this: I don't know the difference between hardcore, metal, metalcore, and... whatever else. I'm sure those differences are profound and meaningful, but I'm going to use them interchangeably because I give zero fucks. Okay? Okay.

This year, Portland's Warped Tour was in the parking lot of the Expo Center. Fuck yeah, right? So I MAXed out there and got my ticket from a friendly ticket girl and underwent an almost insultingly cursory bag check from a kid who seemed certain there was no way I was trying to smuggle in drugs or booze (fine, I wasn't) and walked through the gates and this song was playing right in front of me:

And I was like, ohhhh my god, I am 400 years old, I am an Anne Rice vampire wishing she could just die already, I don't understand anything about this.

Which was the reaction I was expecting to have to the whole festival—out-of-touchness, confusion about the way the cultural touchstones of my own teen years were being reappropriated, etc. I mean, I'm 30. I don't know the first thing about what kids these days are interested in, aside from the timeless teenaged preoccupations of "finding someone to make out with" and "themselves." I figured I'd feel really old and out of place, given that Warped Tour is very pointedly targeted at teens.

That didn't really happen, though. Aside from the Cranberries cover and a disconcerting number of Pink Floyd T-shirts (really? them?) mostly it was a music festival in a parking lot. It seemed like a really good place to buy a shirt reading "Free Hugs" or "Fuck Hipsters," or to cheerfully shill for major corporate sponsors by hashtagging them on Instagram, or to get a bad sunburn because you didn't listen to your mom when she reminded you to wear sunscreen. I kept wanting to ask chubby girls if they were drinking enough water.

I did feel out of place, but it was less about age and more because I'm kind of a schlumpy hipster dork with no visible tattoos who OBVIOUSLY likes to read. There were plenty of other grownups around: Some were parent-chaperones being awfully good sports; some were middle-aged dudes with bad taste in music; some were leathery scenesters herding their own toddlers around. I took this picture, which I'm calling "Father's Day at Warped Tour":

When I was in high school, the dudes who went to Warped Tour were punk-rock jocks who dated cheerleaders and had Op Ivy stickers on the cars their parents bought them. I never really minded those guys, even if my cooler friends made fun of them for not being "real" punks. (This was in Tualatin; the entire authenticity-based pecking order rested on fairly shaky ground.) It all still seems pretty bro-y; I kept thinking, "God, these dudes with girl hair get laid waaaay too often." There weren't many women on stage—in two hours I only I only saw one, repping the Gwen Stefani big-pants-little-shirt look—and going through the schedule just now, I counted three women among about 20 randomly selected bands. Representation of women is important, even in shitty scenes.

Most of the music I saw, aside from being too damn loud—*shakes cane*—seemed vaguely self-helpy: Step one, validate their pain; step two, transcendence through hand-clapping. (There was a lot of handclapping.) "Reach out to us—put your hands forward to attest," one singer instructed. When the crowd complied, he chirped, "You guys are great, man! This is awesome!" Then the bass player did a Namaste bow. It was all kind of wholesome, really.

Like Moths to Flames WAS the worst band I saw, though not particularly memorable in their badness. The bass player was kinda hot and the lead singer sounded like a real douche. "Gimme a big-ass circle pit!" he yelled at one point. "Everyone start running in one direction and don't you dare fucking stop!"

Which was like a gift from heaven, because teenaged boys dancing in a circle pit is one of the funniest things on this earth. (I know they don't think of it as "dancing," but let's be real.) It's so fucking comical—hopping and air punching and posturing and chin-thrusting, all while enthusiastically running around in a giant circle. It reminded me of trying to start a whirlpool in my grandma's backyard swimming pool. (It also, of course, speaks to that gender problem again—the Like Moths to Flames pit was exclusively male, save for one girl on the edges who alternated between trying to dance and protecting her boobs with her elbows.)

All of the bands I saw near-constantly entreated the audience to jump up and down, clap their hands, raise their middle fingers, etc. It seemed very contrived; I imagined Like Moths to Flames getting a lecture from their social media manager on how to expand their brand: "One measure of audience engagement is whether or not they dare to fucking stop running one direction. Also, hand claps."

I think teenagers are funny and I don't really have anything too mean to say about ones who went to Warped Tour. There were lots of girls with pink hair who should've been wearing longer shorts, and lots of those skinny, probably-vegan hardcore kids with aggressively good posture. The music itself was shitty and annoying, of course, and the whole festival is so aggressively corporate-sponsored that the suggestion that anything legitimately "edgy" or "alternative" is happening under its auspices is patently ridiculous. ("Everybody give it up for the security guards!," one band yelled. It was given.)

At one point, a short blonde girl marched up to me and asked me to favorite her photo on Instagram so she could win a backstage pass. "I'm 'Mastershiznit'," she explained, adorably. She got her pass, apparently—got a little bit closer to whatever band she was dying to see, and all she had to do was get 60 likes and hashtag it #kiawarped.

So that sort of thing is where I actually did start to feel my age—it wasn't so much the music itself (barf) but how the entire thing felt like wandering through a marketing campaign. There were only two bands on the bill I'd actually heard of: Goldfinger and Reel Big Fish. I saw Reel Big Fish at the long-defunct Portland club La Luna when I was in high school—I went to the show because one of my favorite bands at the time, the Mr. T Experience, was opening. MTX slept on my friend's floor when they were in town, and we didn't have to hashtag anything to talk to them after the show; they were just around. I would be disappointed if kids these days aren't having experiences like that, but I assume some of them are. They're just not having them at Warped Tour.

IN CONCLUSION, you guys really are terrible at voting for Worst Night Ever. Most of you are probably in bands that would be worse to go see than this was. There were no baby pigs like at the fair, and no free cookies like at the sex club, but otherwise it was pretty tame. The end.

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The Internet Cat Video Fest

Marjorie Skinner — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 11:59:00 -0700

Guess what you're doing this weekend. Ok, I'll tell you: You are going to the single greatest event the Mercury has ever sponsored, The Internet Cat Video Fest! Longtime readers know that the Merc has a colorful history with cats (remember Cat Friday? Weirdest meetings ever.), but lately we've been relegating them to Courtney's awesome "Tonight in Music" photo selections.

Well, for one night at least, we're dragging our old cat lady shame out of the closet for another outing. And lest you think this is a slacker affair, know that this program originally drew over 10,000 people when it debuted at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis:

[Warning: The following video contains huge dorks.]

The re-staging of this event is going down this Friday and Saturday at the Hollywood at 7:30 and 9:30 pm, and includes an appearance from last year's people's choice winner Henri, le Chat Noir—you can check out one of his videos after the cut, too. The poor thing.

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Michael Cera's Shorty Film Failure Isn't at All! It's Good!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 11:29:29 -0700

Check out this short—seriously, it's only four minutes long—film called Failure written/directed/starring Michael Cera and co-starring Parks and Recreation's Aubrey Plaza. For being only four minutes long, it sure is chock-a-block with tension, atmosphere, confusion, and good-natured creepiness.

I wish I could be this good in four minutes. :(

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Why Yes, Orson Welles DID Do the Narration for the Revenge of the Nerds Trailer

David Schmader — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:59:00 -0700

Thank you, Criterion Collection Twitter feed.

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Tonight in Music: Woolen Men, Fall Out Boy, WL & More

Ned Lannamann — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:30:00 -0700

THE WOOLEN MEN, SAUNA, THE MEMORIES
(Record Room, 8 NE Killingsworth) The Memories' gorgeous druggy offerings slide and chime their way to the two-minute mark before losing interest and moving on. It makes them an oddly compelling act and perfect centerpiece for the Woolen Men's perfectly crafted lo-fi and Sauna's giggling surf-pop. ALEX ROSS

FALL OUT BOY
(Roseland, 8 NW 6th) Read our article on Fall Out Boy.

Impermanent by WL

WL, FAKE NAILS
(Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water) My relationship with local shoegazing three-piece WL (pronounced Well) could play out through a series of missed connections: "Sorry I wasn't able to catch you perform your original live score for René Laloux's Gandahar the other night, maybe you can do it again sometime?" or "Got to the Metz show a bit late, I'm sure that your loud and dreamy opening set would have been lovely to see. Hang out soon?" Bandcamp and Facebook stalking has deepened the intimacy. The band's 7-inch on Death Party Records surrounds you with noise. On "Impermanent," gorgeous vocals and a wall of guitar swirl together over a drumbeat that somehow manages to keep it grounded. The band is putting the finishing touches on an upcoming record, so this headlining show should be just the opportunity I need to take my affair to the next level. CHIPP TERWILLIGER

THE FRONT BOTTOMS, WEATHERBOX, LEE COREY OSWALD
(Backspace, 115 NW 5th) The Mountain Goats are great, but unfortunately, most bands influenced by the Mountain Goats are considerably less so. There's more than a pinch of Mountain Goats frontman John Darnielle in the Front Bottoms' vocalist/songwriter Brian Sella, but not enough to qualify as desperate emulation. As a matter of fact, Sella might be one of the only blatant Mountain Goats enthusiasts whose own talent manages to shine through his most derivative moments: "Lone Star," off the group's new record Talon of the Hawk, is the first song in approximately three months to legitimately give me chills (and I was getting worried!); "The Feud" sounds vaguely like a lost Weakerthans track; and "Skeleton" is undeniably stupid, but it's also a contender for the catchiest thing I've heard this year. Rounding out the bill are Californian indie rockers Weatherbox and Lee Corey Oswald, whose side of a new 12-inch split with Scranton-based Three Man Cannon is a beautiful, heart-wrenching eulogy to '90s (post-)power pop bands like Knapsack and the Smoking Popes. MORGAN TROPER

RACHAEL YAMAGATA, SANDERS BOHLKE
(Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell) Over the past decade, singer/songwriter Rachael Yamagata has been Rachael Yama-go-to, her vocals appearing on records from an impressive list of artists including Rhett Miller, Ryan Adams, Ray LaMontagne, and Bright Eyes. Yamagata's voice always brings depth to whatever she sings on. The unfortunate byproduct of contributing to high-profile records is that it tends to overshadow her own output. Yamagata has released a handful of her own records, and there's a good chance one of her songs has appeared on a television show you've watched. There's a good reason she's sought after. Take away the big names, and you're left with Yamagata's stunning voice, which is really where the focus should be. MARK LORE

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PDX Pop Now! Announces Lineup for 2013 Fest

Ned Lannamann — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:44:19 -0700

PDX Pop Now! announced the lineup for this year's festival, with over 40 local bands from great to small, from famous to less-famousish, from rock to pop to rap to electronic to metal to folk to funk to et cetera. As announced, the 10th year of the all-ages, all-local, no-cover music festival will take place in a new location this year: the Eastbank Lot at SE Water and Salmon. And in addition to the music, it will include a street fair with a shaded food court, a Rigsketball tournament, and other activities.

But back to the music—watch the video above to look at all the artists' names on a bunch of delicious cupcakes. I'll also post the full list after the jump, and it includes many familiar names, plus some excitingly unfamiliar ones. Among many others, I'm excited for Hausu, Orquestra Pacific Tropicale, Shy Girls, Sons of Huns, Richmond Fontaine, Luck One, and LOTS more. Take your clicky mouse to the jump and look at all that'll be going down.

PDX Pop Now! takes place on Friday, July 19 through Sunday, July 21, and is free and all ages. Miss it at your peril.

Ancient Heat
Billions and Billions
Blue Skies for Black Hearts
Cassow
Dangerous Boys Club
Dusu Mali
Fanno Creek
Gaytheist
Genders
Ghost Ease
Grammies
Hausu
Hot Victory
Like a Villain
Litanic Mask
Luck One
Magic Fades
Magic Mouth
Mattress
Memories
Minden
Mojave Bird
Natasha Kmeto
Orquestra Pacific Tropicale
Palo Verde
PWRHAUS
Ramona Falls
Richmond Fontaine
Satin Chaps
Shy Girls
Slimkid3 w/ Doo Doo Funk
Sons of Huns
Sun Angle
The We Shared Milk
Trio Subtonic
Unkle Funkle
Vice Device
Warm Hands
Witch Mountain
WL
Wooden Indian Burial Ground
Woolen Men
Y La Bamba
Youthbitch
and Special Guests!

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Good Morning, News

Dirk VanderHart — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:29:15 -0700

Lots of potential progress in Afghanistan today . The US is handing the reins in its 12 year fight against the Taliban to Afghan forces, and the Taliban's saying it wants to talk peace.

Protesting multitudes have taken to the streets of Brazil, as anger over bus fare hikes gave way to outrage over the country's widespread inequity. As is the drill with these things, recordings show police beating unarmed protestors, firing rubber bullets and tear gas, etc. It's ugly. Just imagine if the government had tried to snatch away their Free Rail Zone.

President Obama took to PBS yesterday to explain why PRISM program and other government data meddling are nothing to worry about, and we should be thankful for them. Obama says we're not getting a true picture of the situation, and that he's asked intelligence officials to look at just what else the government might be able to release about the program. Glen Greenwald, who broke the story on the programs, called interviewer Charlie Rose's questions "vapid and obsequious" on Twitter.

Meanwhile, the National Security Agency's giving out hard numbers it says demonstrate the success of the programs. NSA Director Keith Alexander says they've disrupted 50 terror threats, including plots to bomb the New York Stock Exchange and the city's subway system. "I would much rather be here today debating this,'' Alexander reportedly told lawmakers, "than explaining why we were unable to prevent another 9/11'' attack.

The new president of Iran, Hassan Rowhani, says he's open to smoothing things out with the US. He's not so sure about direct talks.

Is the body of famously disappeared Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa in a field outside of Detroit? The son of a late mob boss claims so, saying Hoffa was buried alive after he was hit with a shovel. By the way, as a Michigan native, I both revel in and cringe at the nasal Michigan perfection that narrates the video with this story.

Everybody wants peace talks to end the nasty conflict in Syria except Vladimir Putin. Or, wait. Maybe he does?

Remember the Seattle man who planned to dribble a soccer ball to Brazil but instead was struck by a truck outside of Lincoln City? Charges have been filed in the deeply depressing case.

Horses being used as bloodhounds. Sign me up.

The bleak dampness of late June approaches. Let the Weather Widget tell it.

This guy makes it look easy.

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PDX Pop Now! Announces Lineup for 2013 Fest

Ned Lannamann — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:20:00 -0700

PDX Pop Now! takes place on Friday, July 19 through Sunday, July 21, and is free and all ages. Miss it at your peril.

Ancient Heat
Billions and Billions
Blue Skies for Black Hearts
Cassow
Dangerous Boys Club
Dusu Mali
Fanno Creek
Gaytheist
Genders
Ghost Ease
Grammies
Hausu
Hot Victory
Like a Villain
Litanic Mask
Luck One
Magic Fades
Magic Mouth
Mattress
Memories
Minden
Mojave Bird
Natasha Kmeto
Orquestra Pacific Tropicale
Palo Verde
PWRHAUS
Ramona Falls
Richmond Fontaine
Satin Chaps
Shy Girls
Slimkid3 w/ Doo Doo Funk
Sons of Huns
Sun Angle
The We Shared Milk
Trio Subtonic
Unkle Funkle
Vice Device
Warm Hands
Witch Mountain
WL
Wooden Indian Burial Ground
Woolen Men
Y La Bamba
Youthbitch
and Special Guests!

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Music Monday! Laura Veirs, Wampire/STRFKR, Beyondadoubt & More

Ned Lannamann — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 15:44:20 -0700

Martin Mull, it's Music Monday!

Laura Veirs has a new album coming out August 20, and the first song from Warp and Weft can be found in the various farflung corners of the internet. Listen to "Sun Song," a luscious bit of country-tinged folk, with Veirs' assured, calm singing holding down the pillars of a gorgeous production, complete with a string section and a guest vocal from Neko Case. This is absolutely lovely. Veirs will do an international tour following Warp and Weft's release, playing a hometown show at the Doug Fir on Saturday, October 5.

• • •

STRFKR recently remixed the fine Wampire track "Orchard," from Wampire's debut album Curiosity. It's a gorgeous remix, blurring the edges of the already wistful track, prettying it up with a pulsing synth sound and adding the very distinctive, danceable STRFKR element. It's a huge sounding track, a total hit in the making. Wampire play Holocene on Wednesday, July 3 with Onuinu before heading out on the road with Smith Westerns for a month-long national jaunt.

• • •

Beyondadoubt (AKA DJ Beyonda) has been a staple of the DJ scene here in Portland—she holds down the monthly I've Got a Hole in My Soul party, she's a resident DJ at Ecstasy, she's spun at everything from rock shows to bounce parties to the Mercury fashion show. Here's Beyonda's first single, "9Inch Heels," with vocals from Niyi and additional production from Miracle's Club's Rafael Fauria. It's a hard, metallic dance track evoking the era of classic Chicago house—the perfect comedown from an overloaded weekend of Pride festivities.

Click the jump for new music from Lord Dying, UMO, Melville, and Radiation City remixed by G_Force!

• • •

Another new Lord Dying song went up on Revolver last week—take a listen here to "Dreams of Mercy," a scorching, grease-stained mini-epic from the Portland metallurgists. Summon the Faithless comes out on July 9 on Relapse, and will engulf all it surrounds in unholy flames. Lord Dying plays a release show that night at the White Owl Social Club. They'll play there again for MFNW; Brian Posehn is also on the bill for that show, which will be awesome—heavy metal shows could always use a bit more comedy if you ask me.

• • •

Unknown Mortal Orchestra is one of the only bands in the world that could pull this off: a cover of Otis Redding's "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay." That overfamiliar chestnut was recorded by UMO at a BBC session in Manchester last year, and Ruban Nielson & Co. put Redding and Steve Cropper's classic through their patented wringer of inner-space psych. There's a sense of haze and gloom that works well with the resigned feel of the song, and the turmoil subtly builds over their performance. I don't know if this needed to exist, but I'm glad it does.

• • •

Forked Tongue by Melville
Here's a track from Portland band Melville, from their upcoming EP Maquette, due out in September. The band's Ryan Jacobs dropped us a line with the news, adding "We've heard Jason Molina to Father John Misty." I definitely hear those influences, but Melville has something entirely there own on "Forked Tongue," including a sense of involving drama among the rich weave of guitars. Melville play the Alhambra Theatre (in the Tebbetts Lounge area) on Wednesday, June 26 with Fanno Creek and the Bevelers as part of their new Wednesday night series of free shows organized by Theo Craig.

• • •

I'll end with a track from the new Radiation City remix album, in which G_Force dissected and reconstructed all the songs from Rad City's fine new full-length, Animals in the Median, and came up with A Different Animal, featuring lots of local guest rappers and emcees. Here's the "Food" remix, with appearances by Juicy J, Blimp, and Calvin Valentine (that's G_Force's alter ego). A Different Animal officially comes out tomorrow, but you can stream the whole thing here (I'll embed it below as well). Radiation City, meanwhile, are out on the road and will be back home to play the Wonder Ballroom on Friday, June 28.

• • •

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Meet Your New Local Representative on Ink Master, Josh Hibbard

Marjorie Skinner — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 15:29:00 -0700

I've never actually seen Ink Master but it seems like it's just like Project Runway except with tattoos and jail and douchebags. Sign me up!

Ink Master

(Why such a horrified look on at 00:40??? What does that dude think is gonna happen??? And oh my god Dave Navarro... LOL.)

This season (which makes its illustrious premiere on July 16 at 10 pm on Spike) is special, because it features a Portland competitor, Joshua Hibbard, from your friendly neighborhood No Hope No Fear Tattoo Art Studio. He got almost no face time in the preview clip, not that that's necessarily a bad thing, considering. Make us proud, Josh! Viewing party, anybody? Guys?

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Music Monday! Laura Veirs, Wampire/STRFKR, Beyondadoubt & More

Ned Lannamann — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 15:23:35 -0700

Martin Mull, it's Music Monday!

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Click the jump for new music from Lord Dying, UMO, Melville, and Radiation City remixed by G_Force!

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Today's Cause for Hope (Plus Some Complicated Feelings of Empathy)

David Schmader — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:44:37 -0700

...courtesy of last Friday's Rachel Maddow Show.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Short version: The quietly but pervasively anti-gay GOP will very soon face a reckoning with an increasingly equality-friendly nation, and it's going to be something to see.

On a related note, I'm finding myself increasingly obsessed with the need for some sort of safe space/learning zone for those folks still working their way toward gay acceptance. It's tough, because once the "gay are just people!" light goes off in your brain, it's hard to imagine how you ever thought otherwise, and the urge to flex your new muscles by pointing at the less evolved and shouting "bigot!" is strong. But I've spent the past 20 years watching that light go off in people's brains (including my own), and it's not something that happens according to a timetable, or in response to demands. While we work to banish LGBTQI discrimination from the law of the land, we should leave some sort of welcome mat for those would-be "bigots" who are coming around to the idea of gay acceptance more slowly. Because no matter who you are, when it comes to homosexuality, your understanding of the issue is different today than what it was 10 or 20 years ago.

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Beatboxing for Dummies

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:44:20 -0700

Are you ashamed of your beatboxing skills? WELL, YOU SHOULD BE! They're terrrrrrible! And now you're too ashamed to ask for help, right? WELL, YOU SHOULD BE! However, don't tell nobody, but here's an absolutely adorable and EASY tutorial on beatboxing that will improve your craptastic no-skillz 200 percent in less than a minute. (Extra points if you learn the "Twinkle, Twinkle" dance.)

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Pleased to Meet You, Episode 9: Stepkid

Nilina Mason-Campbell — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:01:00 -0700

It's time to think outside the box with a brand-new episode of Pleased to Meet You, in which our intrepid host Nilina Mason-Campbell interviews up-and-coming Portland musical acts in unconventional locations. This week, Nilina talks to Stepkid—AKA Benjamin Tyler—as they both sit comfortably inside cardboard boxes. Tyler talks about the origins of his one-man musical project (which makes the perfect soundtrack music for homemade time machines), as well as his day job teaching music, and his role as a drummer in other bands, including Onuinu and the recently disbanded Stay Calm. Set your dials to far out!

For past episodes of Pleased to Meet You, click here.

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Hitler on the Mounted Patrol: "Everyone Loves Horsies Even Though They Have No Functional Value"

Denis C. Theriault — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 11:14:23 -0700

No, I didn't make this Hitler video. (Honest. Although I totally know who did.) But let's just say it's been making the rounds in Portland City Hall over the past couple of weeks.

It's a well-trod meme. But it's worth watching, thanks to some fairly sharp jokes on a smorgasbord of familiar subjects: fluoride, medicinal pot, lassitude, composting, Mark Wiener, and—especially—the police bureau mounted patrol that Mayor Charlie Hales personally rescued from budgetary and political euthanasia.

Happy Monday.

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Tonight in Music: Cayucas

Ned Lannamann — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:59:21 -0700

CAYUCAS, JBM
(Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi) Read our article on Cayucas.

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Good Morning, Television!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:29:33 -0700

TV NEWS... and some questions!

Dave Chappelle is going on tour! Is the fact that he won't be performing in Portland, a real fucking bummer?

Did Charlie Sheen fire Anger Management co-star Selma Blair? Do you remember who Selma Blair is?

In a revelation that will shock you to your very core, Community guru Dan Harmon watched season four... AND DID NOT LIKE IT VERY MUCH. Is this a reason to like Dan Harmon more or less?

ABC Family officially picks up Girl Meets World—the Boy Meets World spinoff! Is this a reason to rejoice, or a reason to contemplate your mortality?

Pics show TV chef Nigella Lawson being strangled by her husband, who says they are "not as bad as they appear," and calls it a "playful tiff." Do you think wrapping your hands around someone's throat is a good way of (as he put it) "emphasizing a point"?

Netflix is teaming up with Dreamworks to produce some new original kids programming. Will they hopefully do a House of Cards cartoon, please?

Curb Your Enthusiasm's Jeff Garlin was arrested for smashing the windows of a Mercedes during a parking spot dispute. Two part question: a) Does this incident allow the press to suggest that Jeff "curb his own enthusiam," and b) doesn't smashing the windows of a dick in a Mercedes sound like the greatest?

After Jimmy Fallon asks Olive Garden if he can use their old slogan, "When You're Here, You're Family," Olive Garden says, "Mmmm... okay!" Is this the nicest thing Olive Garden has ever or will ever do?

Mad Men's Matthew Weiner ruins everybody's fun by saying "No one's going to die this season." Why does this information make me so unhappy?

And finally, Dean Cain learns there's a new Superman movie... and really wants to be in it! Question: Do you want to tell him, or shall I?

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