ENTOURAGE “Beep beep! Douche delivery!”

HBO'S FORMER SERIES Entourage gets a bit of a bum rap as a show by, for, and populated with douchebags. Originally created by Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg (douchebag), Entourage was inspired by his non-famous homeboys (douchebags) and their (douchebaggy) Hollywood adventures.

The series—which ran for eight seasons, from 2004 to 2011—revolved around A-list star Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier), his best buddy/manager Eric (Kevin Connolly), his driver/pal "Turtle" (Jerry Ferrara), his half-brother/failed actor "Drama" (Kevin Dillon), and their Hollywood party lifestyle. So why is the douchebag label sort of a bum rap? Because at its heart, Entourage was a series about friendship and loyalty—in a town where friendship and loyalty are a goddamn joke.

While Vince and the gang weren't very sensitive to each other's feelings, they were insanely loyal—and eventually, this loyalty even rubbed off on Vince's explosively foul-mouthed agent, Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven, who won several Emmys for his hilariously abrasive performance). And when loyalty wasn't being tested, many of the episodes revolved around making crass jokes, banging chicks, doing drugs, and navigating Hollywood's treacherous waters, all while supporting each other and their careers.

That's the TV show. And at 30 minutes an episode, it was just sweet enough and just barely funny enough to carry it for eight seasons. Conversely, Entourage: The Movie! clocks in at an hour and 45 minutes, is practically identical in tone and structure, and groans beneath the weight of its runtime. Even a binge-watching Entourage lover will begin to see the cracks.

The movie picks up a short time after the series left off—which may have been 2011, but feels like a lifetime ago. Now a studio head, Ari reluctantly agrees to let Vince star in and direct a big-budget film, causing major consternation for both his studio partners and the film's hillbilly financiers (Billy Bob Thornton and a surprisingly good Haley Joel Osment). This threadbare plot could've been set up and resolved in two episodes, but that would've left out a whole bunch of douche.

For longtime fans of the series, don't worry: The parties are here, the yachts and jet skis are here, the booze is here, the inexplicable celebrity guest appearances are here (Warren Buffett???), the filthy (and occasionally pretty funny) jokes are here, the fairly graphic sex scenes are here, and the women are here. (By the way, the women of Entourage tend to fall into three categories: mopey spouses/girlfriends, conniving and/or mentally ill love interests, and personality-free sperm receptacles. Perhaps this fact alone will let you know if you're the type of person who would enjoy this movie?)

However, if you're not familiar with the show, the movie's sudden introduction of past characters with little to no explanation might be confusing, and the troubling lack of acting ability—with the exception of Piven—will definitely make you wonder why you're paying good money to watch three-and-a-half cobbled-together episodes of a nearly forgotten TV show. That being said, if you believe every person on earth—including Douchebaggus americanus—is imbued with some humanity, then Entourage at least makes an attempt at putting that on the screen (with the exclusion of its female characters, of course).

But none of that matters, since sooner or later, Entourage: The Movie! will be showing on HBO. So if you're still interested, why not save your money?