Hey, gays and dolls! After every local wedding planner I contacted refused to return my requests for same-sex nuptial-planning advice (I guess June's a busy month for local Franck Eggelhoffers), I decided there's no savvier sage than I when it comes to life's most important occasions. After all, I organized my nephew's bris last year—without help from anyone.
Before we get to the fun stuff, we need blood tests (Pivot, 209 SW 4th, 445-7699; Multnomah County STD Clinic, 426 SW Stark, 6th floor, 988-3700). Granted, they're not required for marriage in Oregon, but it's helpful to know if a spouse is syphilitic or a potential blood donor. Marriage licenses cost $60 (no personal checks and no one under 17 without parental consent) and require a three-day waiting period. Multnomah County offers a list of judges (most free if you wed in his/her chambers during business hours) to officiate. (Or check out "Interview with an Officiant," pg. 17.)
Have you thought about a professional musician for your Mendelssohn (or the Weather Girls) wedding procession? Try Halley Weaver, Portland's very own Bicycling Street Harpist (buskerslife.wordpress.com). She takes requests, but requires six weeks' notice.
Now, the essentials: Portland Rent All (10101 SE Stark, 548-4884) offers reasonable margarita machines ($125) and bubble machines ($20). For fog machines ($40), check out Showcase Music and Sound (3401 SE Hawthorne, 231-7027). Parties, Inc. (641-1803) has good deals on bouncy castles ($150-250). Professional Ice Carvings (348-7662) will fashion you an ice sculpture of your choosing ($60-320)—maybe even a Tom of Finland bust!