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Andy McKee, Cris Lucas 

When: Sun., Jan. 12, 8 p.m. 2014
Price: $18-20
I have a pretty high tolerance for musical stupidity—Load is (by far) my favorite Metallica album and I am an unabashed (pre-Poodle Hat) Weird Al fan—but I find Andy McKee and all of his Candy Rat Records compatriots completely, unbearably, peerlessly idiotic. First off, I hate that thing that twinkly, "technical" acoustic guitarists do where they tap their fingernails on the body of the instrument and act like this is somehow a viable musical technique. It isn't, and it sounds like shit. Secondly, this is ultimately very cerebral, calculated music masquerading as sensitive and impassioned (song titles include "Drifting," "Ebon Coast," and "Song for My Father"—ew). Lastly is McKee's self-righteous opposition to drugs, and here I quote: "I too have never touched weed, pills, blow, or needles. I'm always insulted when people find that hard to believe. 'How can you write such insane music straight?!?' Frick! Some of us are just creative using only the chemicals already present in our bodies." Pfft! See ya after class, nerd! MORGAN TROPER

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