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Beethoven's Emperor Concerto: Andre Watts, Christoph Konig, Oregon Symphony 

When: Sat., Jan. 12, 7:30 p.m., Sun., Jan. 13, 7:30 p.m. and Mon., Jan. 14, 8 p.m. 2013
Price: $21-111
What would it be like to have a living legend jam with your favorite local band? One's daydreaming could lead to pants-wetting images of Neil Young strumming with Weinland, or Björk yodeling with Menomena. Luckily, I ain't some poor sap forced to settle for mere flights of fancy—because I already scored tickets for the Oregon Symphony's next concert, featuring piano god André Watts. Listen the fuck up: Most Oregon Symphony concerts feature an international virtuoso that teams up with Portland's big band, but Mr. Watts is this season's only soloist to carry legendary status with him onto the Schnitzer stage. Introduced by Leonard Bernstein on national TV in the early '60s when he was a 16-year-old black kid, the wunderkind instantly rocketed to stardom and has been playing to packed houses ever since. The sweet, sweet fact that Watts is in PDX to knock out Ludwig van Beethoven's Fifth (and final) Piano Concerto makes this program the very first do-not-miss performance of 2013. Why not be absolutely crazy and resolve to catch at least one show in the new year that doesn't feature ironic facial hair? ANGRY SYMPHONY GUY

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