Bikes in Film 

Ah, bicycles! These fantastic devices of spokes and gears are the chosen method of transportation for environmentalists, the Chinese, and young children who can't drive. Which naturally means that there are all sorts of movies involving bikes in one way or another; here are a few of our favorites.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)—One iconic scene in Spielberg's boy-meets-alien opus has the creeptacular E.T. making children's bicycles fly! It's a magical cinema moment that also makes every normal, non-flying bike look like crap. Hey, thanks, E.T.! Come back real soon to show off some more, you dick.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)—There's nothing smoother than takin' a lady on romantic bicycle ride to some sweet tunes. Proof? Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) takin' a fine honey for a pastoral bike ride while "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" plays. Nice, Paul. Nice.

Rad (1986)—Cru Jones (a dead ringer for Luke Skywalker, and just as whiny) wants to win a BMX race called Helltrack in order to win the heart of Full House's Becky Katsopolis. It's the kind of movie where people applaud when some asshole bursts into senior prom and starts dancing on his bike to "Send Me An Angel." It's hard to believe a generation of 10-year-olds didn't kill themselves from embarrassment in 1986.

Quicksilver (1986)—If ever there was an actor who could turn a bike messenger into San Francisco's biggest douchebag, it's Kevin Bacon.

Pee Wee's Big Adventure (1985)—A retarded man-child goes on an epic adventure to find his beloved bike. (Pee Wee's real big adventure came six years later, when he got arrested for public masturbation.)

The Bicycle Thief (1948)—SPOILER ALERT: Life sucks and then your dad gets caught stealing a bike.

Rushmore (1998)—Blah, blah, Bike Issue, blah. Enough talk about how great bikes are to ride and whatever. You know what else they're good for? CRUSHING UNDERNEATH YOUR CAR. When middle-aged failure Bill Murray wants to get revenge on teenage Jason Schwartzman, he steals the nerd's bike, gives it a few good rollovers, and leaves it where he found it. Nice, Bill. Nice. ERIK HENRIKSEN, CHAS BOWIE, & SCOTT MOORE

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