Dear Management:

I just met my neighbors across the hall, and they are genuine pieces of shit. They scream at each other about their lost drugs outside my front door, and I overheard the woman say she can't afford to get kicked out of yet another place. At 3am this morning I asked them to keep it down, at which point her 20 year old fetal alcohol dropouts called me a "lumberjack faggot."

First of all, thanks for dropping another batch of dead souls outside my front door, and making these apartments the kind of place that parents in hell warn their children about.

Secondly, what can I do to facilitate the eviction, if not extermination, of these human vermin?