Dear Pedestrians of the Rose Quarter:
The transit mall has had a bike lane running through the center of it for a few years now. That means that when I, cyclist, have a green light, you have a "don't walk" signal demanding you not-enter the crosswalk. So don't fucking walk! I feel like an asshole every time I ring my bell furiously or shout "Heads up!", but you know what? I'm not an asshole. I stop when the light's red and I even stop for the stop sign at Interstate (annoying the shit out of the cyclists behind me).
But never mind all that. You're busy refreshing Instagram to see if anyone's paying attention to you in cyberspace; I'm hauling ass directly towards you, meat pylon, and literally screaming. Wake the fuck up!