I was hoping I could get through my life without having a sex dream about mayoral candidate Jefferson Smith. But. Alas. Last night I dreamed he was my boyfriend and we were bonin' in a giant bed full of other people. I looked up at him and was repulsed—he had poofed out his lips to make a duck face. "That's horrifying," I told him, and he laughed.
I have never been so glad to wake up and realize a dream was not real.