Please stop making All In jokes. David Petraeus, the retired general who (apparently had to?) quit as head of the CIA over reports of an affair with his biographer, was outed after his lover (say that with all the drippy grossness you can muster) got caught sending harassing emails to another of his female acquaintances. Security of state secrets remains a concern. But continue to ignore the hyperventilation about "Benghazi."
Chastened Republicans—still stinging after Tuesday's electoral repudiation and barely clinging to their last governmental bastion, the House of Representatives—appear more willing to bow to the conciliatory demands of their tanned pack leader, John Boehner.
But the "fiscal cliff" awaiting Congress and the president—mandated tax hikes and steep program cuts—may yet defy even genuine attempts at compromise and comity.
Newfound Republican religion on the need to jettison nativists and embrace immigration reform may be more likely to stick. Bipartisan talks between two high-profile senators have restarted.
Y'all heard that Barack Obama officially won Florida, right?
Parlor games are afoot over Barack Obama's retooled, second-term Cabinet. Now you can play, too!
Iran shot at one of our drones—better known for killing Pakistani civilians in what's also been an undeniably successful campaign to stamp out Al-Qaida—reportedly because it was spying on oil tankers of the country's coast.
Israel becomes the latest country not named Syria to fire its weapons because of Syria's ongoing civil war. No big whoop, considering Israel also is maybe mulling over another ground invasion of the Palestinian-"controlled" Gaza Strip.
A fiery explosion in Indianapolis, shattering windows and doors and waking people up for miles, flattened two houses just before midnight—killing two people at least, forcing the evacuations of 200 more, and wrecking or severely damaging three dozen other nearby homes. The cause remains a mystery.
A police officer in suburban Denver, among several responding to a call of shots fired, was gunned down by a SWAT team cop who assumed he was an "armed suspect." The SWAT officer had shouted at the slain officer to drop his weapon, but he thought the commands were meant for an actual suspect and ignored them.
The next best thing to consuming the body of Christ? Consuming the ear of a fellow retired priest.
THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF TV'S SHERMAN HEMSLEY WILL STAR IN A NEW TRIAL OPENING THIS WEEK. IN LIGHT OF THAT NEWS, SOMEONE APPARENTLY FOUND FOOTAGE OF THE DEAD HEMSLEY, ACCOMPANIED BY AN EXCELLENT AND LIVELY GOSPEL TUNE, MAKING HIS FINAL WALK TO HEAVEN.