GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! When you hear the scratch of the guitars scratchin', then you'll know that rhythm carries all the action. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
Despite being pummeled by days of Israeli airstrikes, Hamas is talking big—making demands that would put them in a much better position than before, and using the growing strength of Islamists in the region and "Arab Spring" to turn the screws.
Meanwhile Israel continues to bomb the shit out of the Gaza Strip, killing 96 including a senior militant of the movement.
President Obama visits Myanmar (formerly Burma) to give a thumbs up to their decreasing political oppression and increasingly democratic leanings. Have you ever been there? I went back in the early '90s and that shit was FUCKED UP. Remind me to tell you about it sometime.
OH! And then he went to Cambodia for the next leg of his "Hurrah, Democracy!" tour.
After hearing Gen. Petraeus' testimony on the matter of the Benghazi attack, Republicans are still calling bullshit.
Meanwhile in "SEX NEWS," Paula Broadwell (Gen. Petraeus' biographer and "lovah") is telling friends she's devastated and sorry for the affair and all the harm it's brought to their families. Has the General said anything like that, yet? He should.
Animal wranglers for the movie The Hobbit say that the production company is responsible for the deaths of 27 animals.
In happier animal news, a kitten stuck for three days in the statue of Abraham Lincoln is rescued. Stupid, stupid kitten.
Justin Bieber takes home the "Artist of the Year" award at last night's American Music Awards—which is like an awards ceremony or something?
Your dad's favorite rockers AC/DC has finally released their entire catalog of music onto iTunes. Is this news you care about? Maybe it is!
In sporty sports, the Blazers take down the Bulls 102-94, making it our team's third consecutive win. Should I be getting interested yet?
Hey, a goddamn earthquake woke me up this morning! Did you guys feel that? Did you go immediately back to sleep? I did too!
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Windy and gross through Wednesday with rainy highs in the mid-50s (though Thanksgiving will be somewhat less gross).
And finally, GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY!!! PSY's "Gangnam Style" has finally come to American karaoke!! YAYYYYYyyyyy... but. Does anybody know Korean?