"Hey, this is Jewel Lane, ya?"
Jewel Lane? No, it's NW 23rd. The cab driver's thick Russian accent was hard to understand. I had him repeat himself twice more before I realized he was saying, "Jew Lane." Seriously? In a bit of shock and not seeking a potential in-cab conflict I just said, "I don't know."
Unfortunately, this isn't the first time this kind of ignorance has flashed its nasty junk in my face.
No, wait a second, Portland...
That's right, honey. Don't spill your nonfat, organic, free-trade latte. You heard me.
Fuck you and fuck "Keep Portland Weird." I propose that it should now and forever read, "Keep Portland Accountable."
Your festering wound of intolerance, social injustice, poverty and ignorance can no longer be covered by a bandage of sustainably-harvested denial. Your rotten flesh is beginning to stink.
So, I've got some advice, Portland. Be careful not to drop your Lumineers-loaded iPod on your way to work or you'll notice that your bike lanes and rose-lined sidewalks are covered in piss and that all along you've been riding piggy-back on the shoulders of racists and thieves.
No one wants to get their neon Nikes dirty, now do they?