to the loud-mouthed hipster chick sitting ahead of me at the Filmusik show on Friday, was this your first time at the movies, sweetie? You seemed clueless to the etiquette of public entertainment, so let me give you a few hints. First, don't talk to your stupid friends at conversational volume through the whole movie. You're not funny or clever and nobody gives a crap about what you have to say. Second, turn off your cell phone. I know it's your sacred life-line to the world, but you can twit/text/talk/facebook/whatthefuckever on your own time, not on mine. Third, your laugh is fake and obnoxious. You laughed like a horse at every turn just to show how "fun" you are. Fake. Granted, it was a spaghetti western, but we hardly needed any more equine sound effects coming from your dumb mouth. I felt like smacking that stupid flower off the back of your stupid Katie Perry looking skull whenever you made a noise, which was, oh, every 2 seconds. Also, you made it apparent that you were a friend of the band, but could you shut up and just listen? No. Not even your friends were given the courtesy of your attention. So I hope these tips will help you the next time you are out in public, but probably not. Oh, and by the way, your boyfriend may not know it yet, but he's gay.
Katie Perry Hipster Horse
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