All of you people complaining about how this snow is nothing, and you're from some God-forsaken town where it snows 10 feet a day: please do the rest of us a favor and shut your joyless mouths. We get snow in Portland twice a decade, and we're gonna skip work to go sledding. You can go back to North Dakota, where everyone drives like a pro in the snow, or you can stay here and let us enjoy this break from the endless rain. But please stop saying that this is no big deal, because Snowpocalypse 2014 is the most fantastic, wonderful thing ever.
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