They grow (I guess, I grow and harvest them) from under my arms and on my high back & shoulder blades. I eat very well so they naturally, are pretty tasty.

It all started about ten years ago. I was just out of the shower and looking in the mirror, at my back for things to pop or fuck with. When I saw this appendage thingy growing from my under arm. I thought whoa, what the hell!? I called my lady in and she was like yikes but check it; She grabbed a coarse hair off her head, wrapped it around the tag and pinched it off. All in one sweet, swift motion. I was very impressed by her actions.but not surprised(wink) Later that night, I went to go pee and saw the chunk of skin on the sink rim. I smelled it (seemed ok)'and then ate it. I've been hooked ever since. The crunchy texture and seasonal flavor put my taste buds over the edge. It was so damn awesome! If I eat say, a bunch of cinnamon and wait a day, voila! A fucking pastry! Red sauce and ground meat with garlic? Bam! I got me a fucking lil creeper calzone. Yum yum yummers to the motherfucking yum! God, I love me. I am my own food cart! I have to wear my "bloody" shirt afterwords to soak up the afterbirth but hot damn, this is a dream come true. Tonight's was super salty Caesar salad like and it was the reason I am writing this.......boyaah!