Guys. I just don't know anymore. Now I'm starting to feel like a parody of myself for shitting on this show—but I TRULY DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE. So Fred and Carrie (I feel we're on a first name basis now) have produced a companion book for Portlandia called Portlandia: A Guide for Visitors which documents all the gags you enjoyed (?) in the show in the form of a travel book. (FUN FACT: The Mercury's own Justin "Scrappers" Morrison did some of the illustrations—which do not suck.) Anyway, maybe the book's good... maybe it isn't... probably isn't... nevertheless, it's destined to be on the "Nobody Wants to Buy This" table at Barnes & Noble by late 2013.

But seriously, take a minute and check out this trailer for the book. IT IS BAFFLING. Baffling in its bland terribleness. ARE THEY OR ARE THEY NOT TRYING TO SELL THIS BOOK?