I'm on hiatus while working on a manuscript for a new book. In the meantime, please enjoy these classic Savage Love letters pulled from previous columns. I will be back when the book is finished. —Dan
Originally published August 28, 2008:
I am a 30-year-old woman. My boyfriend and I got together when we were 15. It was—and remains—an intense and extraordinary intellectual compatibility. He's the funniest and smartest person I have ever met. There is a lot of good stuff here.
Okay, cutting to the chase: I have never slept with another man and I don't want to. I no longer want to have sex with him and have been having sex with women behind his back. I have long been attracted to women and suspect I would have been in a relationship with one by now if my life took a different path. I love my boyfriend, his family, our friends, our life. But nothing makes me feel more "me" than lying next to a woman after we have gotten each other off for hours. Do I come out, wreck my life and his, all because of one small part of who I am? Or do I stop being an unfaithful bitch and make things work with the man I love?
Why Do I Have To Dig Chicks?
My response after the jump...
First off, WDIHTDC, no one has to dig chicks. It's an elective, not a course requirement. (Except at Evergreen, of course.)
Now, seeing as you and your boyfriend are young enough to get out there and find new partners relatively easily, and seeing as this man who you profess to love has a right (1) not to be lied to for the rest of his life and (2) not to be cheated on for the rest of his life and (3) to be with a woman who actually wants to have sex with him, there's only one course of action here. Thank your boyfriend for his years of faithful service—honor his service—and cut his ass loose.
If you play your cards right, WDIHTDC, you may be able to keep your ex, his family, and your mutual friends in your life. But if you continue to lie and cheat and munch carpet on the down-low, and you get caught and outed, it's unlikely that your ex, his family, and your mutual friends will want to see your lying, cheating, carpet-munchin' face ever again.