Man smokes cigarette on sidewalk next to Pioneer Courthouse Square. Security guards tell man he cannot smoke cigarettes on sidewalk next to Pioneer Courthouse Square. MAN GETS MAD.

I know there's no smoking on the square. And I'm not smoking on the square. And if the sidewalk part of the square isn't a public right of way, it's the only park in Portland that has that rule. Next time I'll stop and talk to you about it. Because I want to know what's going on in your tiny little pea brain that you think this is a worthwhile expenditure of your time and mine. You're rapidly becoming as irritating as canvassers and spangers. Also, your fake badge ain't fooling anyone.

(Note to the author: It's 2013. Stop smoking.) Hey, do YOU have a rant, rave, or confession you'd like to share with the world? Drop it off in the I, Anonymous Blog, where there's never a fake rent-a-cop telling you not to poison yourself.

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