Oof, this is a hard sell. But... does anyone want to go see a grown-ass werewolf get a sparkle boner for a baby tonight? I'm not talking about accompanying me on my bus ride home—I'm off to see the last Twilight movie tonight and I can't find anyone to go with me. You can be my plus-one (what this means: FREE MOVIE! NO LINE! THE ENVY OF EVERY FORMER TWEEN TWILIGHT FAN IN THE TRI-COUNTY AREA!). Have no interest in this peculiar cinematic example of Mormon celibacy? Alex Falcone has a great primer for non-Twilight aficionados, if you're just reading this because you saw the words "FREE MOVIE!"
All you have to do is write me an email detailing your lack of interest and/or complete and utter absorption in all things Cullen. Use the subject line: BABY LOVE. Also, if you don't skeeve me out, I can probably also give you ride. I'll be leaving downtown Portland at 5:30 pm, headed toward the heady climes of Bridgeport Village. I'll email the "winner" by 4:30 pm.
Be warned: This is how I felt about Breaking Down, Part I.