Seriously, WHAT THE F*CK?! As is customary after a long day of hot rodding around and flexing my stiffy, I'm enjoying my lolly pop ride home with a box of candies and all the sudden I have to dodge your oblivious, pathetic and ignorantly repeated attempts to wreck me on my bicycle; splitting lanes to jump in front of me and slam on the brakes (I skid and swerve around), running me into the curb (I hop onto the sidewalk and high-five a pedestrian), driving ONTO the sidewalk and braking (I pee a little and slip back into the street). Terrified witnesses dial 911 as they watch you're drunk ass swerve all over the road forcing other drivers into oncoming lanes and onto sidewalks to avoid being hit by your piece of shit as we all commute home. Yes, I was riding my bike in the street. Doing so keeping pace with traffic and staying on the shoulder. Maybe it was my hella bright and blurry lights that set you off or perhaps it was my stripiest turbo socks, shredded ink covered legs, and pig tails. It was after all MY fault right?! I hope your jail time is as short as your temper after the way you yelled at the police before they kindly chauffeured you away to the Butt Buddy Inn. BTW, even while spinning on my loaded down and "brakeless" fixie, YOU MISSED ME. *PFTHT* And I still have all my gum drops AND lolly pop. Suck it you limp dick fuck-
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