1. Intercourse with an Eskimo. Even if it doesn't work, it can't hurt.
2. Slurpee enema.
3. Air-conditioned movie theaters; it's about nine cents a minute to stay cool--less than long distance!
4. Ice Skating--if it's good enough for Tonya it's certainly good enough for you. Kids or adults pay $7.50 for, like, four or five hours at Lloyd Center. Includes skate rental.
5. Buy one beer at a time so you can maximize your time in the cooler aisle.
6. In spite of the St. Bernard-inspired myth that a shot of schnapps will fend off frostbite, drinking alcohol actually lowers your body temp!
7. Put your clothes in the freezer.
8. Eat jalapeno peppers; hot mouth, cool bod.
9. Give 'em a reason to cap the reservoirs.