4904 SE Hawthorne
Sat, July 20, 5 pm-2 am
It's Saturday at 5 pm. What are you going to do with yourself? All your stupid friends are spring cleaning with their significant others, and once you get finished making fun of them, you're going to be bored again. Look no further, cause "Check it Out Biznatch" has just the cure! Five pm is exactly the time you should be heading over to the event of the year!
This multimedia bonanza combines every Saturday activity you could wish for: shopping, drinking, eating/barbecuing, meeting new people, listening to music, dancing, and winning prizes. Hurrah! Our old pal Mistress Dawn has organized the Twilight Rummage Sale, and her old pal Jedediah has organized a Cowboys-and-Indians post-party. Forget about your old friends, these two are the greatest!
The plentiful rummage tables are rented by local record, houseware, and clothing collectors like yourself ($10 for a table; call Dawn at 285-6786 for info), and it's even rumored that one vendor will be selling her own black velvet paintings. Goddamn! And yes, there's more! While you peruse the nifty mugs, neck sweaters, wing tips, and totally '50s ashtrays, DJ's Just Jen and Sweet Pankakes wheel the steel, Eagle's Lodge bartenders pour the drinks, and grill-masters pull chicken and steaks off the barbecue (food available 'til 7). Go ahead, pinch yourself.
And just as the fields of rummage tables will be overflowing with kitschy wares, the costumed Cowboy and Indian party will be overflowing with... finally, some uproarious dancing in this dance-forsaken town! I know. You're crying out right now, "Please! I can't take anymore fun activities!" Just one more, my friend: They'll be raffling off prizes from Tiger Lily Tattoo, Dirty Little Secrets Salon, and Discourage Records, all while you shake your groove thing. Five bucks gets you in and be prepared for a tune assault by DJ Stormy. Wow!
While I'm chock out of exclamations, I can safely say that if you're too much of a lazy ass or a loser to make it to this dream-come-true event, then maybe you deserve a life of microwave dinners, Tuesday night sitcoms, and of course, spring cleaning. SNOOP SHIMEY SHIME