PROMETHEUS “Oh, great, an alien torture dungeon. Thanks for NOTHING, Google Maps.”

THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2011 was not a terrible one for cinema; it was also not extraordinary one. (For me, it was mostly marked by an obsessive compulsion to see Drive 4,000 times.) 2012, though, is shaping up to be impressive—especially for genre film, and especially since we have so, so much further to go before we are inevitably and repeatedly crushed by disappointment. (But Drive will be out on Blu-ray by then, so it's cool.) Here's a quick look at some of the bigger titles coming out this year; I am not going to mention Battleship, because that movie isn't even finished yet and I already fucking loathe it.

The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey and Prometheus—Even though "prequel" is about as worrisome of a word as there is, still: Peter Jackson going back to Middle-earth. Ridley Scott reminding you that the vacuum of space still prevents anyone from hearing your girlish screams of terror.

The Great Gatsby—Baz Lurhmann gets Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, and Carey Mulligan to flap it up.

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie—.05 percent of the population will lose their shit over this; 99.95 percent of the population will be deeply, deeply annoyed.

The Amazing Spider-Man, The Avengers, and The Dark Knight Rises—Hey nerd! It's a good year to be a nerd.

The Hunger Games—Suzanne Collins' kickass young-adult trilogy is sent to the big screen. Alas, it looks like they're trying to make it the next Twilight. That is... unfortunate.

World War Z—Brad Pitt stars in an adaptation of Max Brooks' "oral history of the zombie war." If anything can make zombies interesting again, it's this.

Dark Shadows and 21 Jump Street—Two things no one asked for: Tim Burton revisiting a '60s vampire soap, and the directors of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs rebooting 21 Jump Street.

Looper and The Cabin in the Woods—Rian Johnson (Brick, The Brothers Bloom) goes time traveling with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, while Drew Goddard (writer of Cloverfield) and Joss Whedon (Serenity) reimagine the slasher flick.

Brave, ParaNorman, and Wreck-It Ralph—Pixar finally tells a story about a girl! Laika finally follows up Coraline! And John C. Reilly finally stars in a flick about a videogame character come to life! Wait. Isn't that what happened in the Hulk Hogan classic Suburban Commando? (Suburban Commando ZING!)

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters—Hey, you know those gimmick books at Powell's? They make movies like that now.

John Carter—Pixar genius Andrew Stanton (Wall-E) takes a stab at live action with a generically titled adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' sci-fi classic A Princess of Mars.

The Dictator—Sacha Baron Cohen tries to remind everyone of Borat and make everyone forget Brüno.

GravityY Tu Mamá También director Alfonso Cuarón hasn't made a feature since 2006's stunning Children of Men. His new one—also science-fiction—stars George Clooney.

Casa de mi Padre—"Scheming on a way to save their father's ranch, the Alvarez brothers find themselves in a war with Mexico's most feared drug lord." This movie stars Will Ferrell. It is also entirely in Spanish.

Lincoln—Steven Spielberg and Daniel Day-Lewis get all four score and stovepipe. They actually just handed Day-Lewis an Oscar when he signed his contract to be in this.

Django Unchained—Quentin Tarantino's spaghetti western. Yeah.

Untitled Todd Rohal Project—Patton Oswalt and Johnny Knoxville star in the new film from the director of the fantastically fucked-up The Catechism Cataclysm. It has something to do with Boy Scouts!

Haywire and Magic Mike—Steven Soderbergh keeps threatening to retire, but we'll get two films from him this year: The action flick Haywire, starring MMA fighter Gina Carano, and male stripper movie Magic Mike, starring former male stripper Channing Tatum. In an already intriguing year, these are two films that make me think 2012 could really break some new groun—

Titanic 3D, Beauty and the Beast 3D, Finding Nemo 3D, and Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace 3D—Goddammmit.