Coming Uncoiled 

The Worst Interview Ever

YOU SEE, I wanted to talk to Cracker's David Lowery about Camden Joy's latest book, Boy Island (Camden Joy being the most brilliant rock critic alive and Boy Island being a semi-surreal rock/culture novel about Cracker). Admittedly, I know very little about Cracker, and I was too young to "get" Camper Van Beethoven during their heyday (in 1986, I was 10, and idolized Madonna, for god's sakes). But Camden Joy's book is very provocative and I want to know Lowery's opinion of it. When I tell this to the nice lady at Virgin Records, the whole time I absentmindedly call him David Lovering (ex-drummer for the Pixies, a band I know a hell of a lot more about than Cracker). She says David (Lowery) doesn't want to talk about the book, but would I still like to interview him? Well, sureI guess so. I am to call him at noon the next day; I figure that gives me enough time to at least find the cassette I have of their first album.

Only, I went out that night (to the Reanimator/Supersprite/Octant show, which was fantastic, and to Dillinger Escape Plan, who sort of sucked but the audience was very entertaining) and didn't wake up until 11:45 the next morning. So I race to the office (still in my pajamas, mind you) and make coffee and listen to five minutes of Cracker's new double-CD retrospective, Garage d'Or. When I call him (10 minutes late), I proceed to ask a series of the worst questions ever, almost completely unrelated to music and certainly unrelated to any of HIS music. The poor guy's dumbfounded, and at the end, he says, "I feel like we didn't talk about anything." I respond with a mix of bullshit, chutzpah, and fatigue: "Well, I wanted to do one of those non sequitur interviews." (Read: Music Bio Box.)

When I relayed this story to Brendon K. Crouser, my friend and confidante, he said, "You printed a full-length feature on the fucking Dandy Warhols, and you're putting David Lowery in a tiny Bio Box?" (See Bio Box, page 23)

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