"Chaos" cabaret is an apt name for the giant ensemble invading Portland this Friday. Part of the Enteractive Language Festival, Chicken John's Chaos Cabaret is billed as a "traveling bar" of 29 people and one dog. The bar is the San Francisco Mission district's Odeon, owned by Chicken John himself. Claiming that the show is a daunting five hours long, the cabaret promises a fast-paced whirlwind of music, freakshow, comedy, and sexiness.

Clearly, that is what all cabaret shows promise. But, how many of them can boast a slideshow dissertation on the fall of the dinosaur? Also expect standup from comedian Will Franken, a tongue-in-cheek rock band called the Famous, a pogo-stick stripper, a samba dancer, a Japanese country singer, and dog tricks from "Dammit the Amazing Wonder Dog."

Of particular spectacle is Rubberboy, a young, handsome contortionist who stuffs himself in boxes and performs various other multiple jointed feats. The whole shebang is hosted by ultra-hyper Chris Karney, a "confusionist" who loves bike tricks, card tricks, and wriggling out of straightjackets. It's the perfect antidote to complaints of being "bored with all the bars in Portland," delivering a whirlwind of new scenery right to your doorstep. MARJORIE SKINNER

Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, Fri Nov 5, 9 pm sharp!, $7

A Weekend of Sales

Hope you've got money, 'cuz there's more sales this weekend than you can shake a stick at! Start with the bookshelves: The Portland State University Library is vomiting forth thousands of surplus books. Nothing beats wrassling with old ladies over beat up copies of Jane Eyre--and at $1 for paperbacks, $2 for hardbacks, you can bet things'll get ugly. (Thursday, 7:30 am-midnight, Friday, 7:30 am-7 pm, Saturday, 8 am-3 pm)

Next up, the Caitlin Gabel Rummage Sale. A rummage sale is like a microcosm of a hunter/gatherer society, where the cast-off clothes of rich people stand in for berries and game, and the queen of the jungle scores a new wardrobe for under $20. (Portland Expo Center, Thurs 5-9 pm, Fri & Sat 10 am-6 pm, Sun 10 am-3 pm)

For you sportos out there, get ready for massive discounts on snow gear. The Portland Ski Fever and Snowboard Show is in town to meet all your ski, snowboard and snowboarder-slang needs. (Friday 1-10 pm, Saturday 10 am-10 pm, Sunday 10 am-6 pm, $9.50 adults, $4.50 kids, Portland Expo Center)

When your transformation is complete, reward yourself by ogling the bling at the Ten Thousand Things Jewelry Trunk Show--just like real-life customer Christina Applegate! (Sat 1-5 pm, TWIST, 30 NW 23rd Place) ALISON HALLETT