Destination Fun 

Goonies Anniversary Party!

Calling all lovers of the 1985 seminal teen flick, The Goonies! Astoria, Oregon--where The Goonies was filmed--is celebrating the movie's 20th anniversary with a Goonies Never Say Die Anniversary Celebration, all weekend long!

For those living in a sea-cave, Goonies tells the action-packed story of rambunctious urchins (including Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, and Jeff "Chunk" Cohen) who discover a pirate treasure map and vow to save their homes from greedy developers. However, also competing for the pirate's booty is a gang of creepy gangsters, who are intent on stopping the smart-assy kids--using any means necessary!

The Goonies anniversary celebration promises to rekindle the fun with screenings of the film, bus tours of nine sites (including inside the Goonies house), and performances of "Growing Up Goonie," starring "Chunk" himself, Jeff Cohen! Part lecture, part performance, and part game show, Cohen will screen film outtakes, describe behind-the-scenes action, and lead a special Goonies trivia game.

Register for activities now at www.oldoregon.com, or call the Astoria Chamber of Commerce for more info on lodging, directions, and obtaining the treasure of old One-Eyed Willy! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Goonies Never Say Die Anniversary Celebration, Astoria, OR, Friday June 3-Sunday June 5, hit www.oldoregon.com for registration and info, or call 800-875-6807.

Mt. Tabor Mayhem

Sabala's Mt. Tabor is solidly into their second year of operation, and they're stepping up. This week alone, the club boasts killer activities nearly every night of the week. That means you'd better pace yourself, stock up on RU-21 hangover relief pills, or just choose your battles:

Thurs: Portland Organic Wresting is back! Watch sweaty beefcakes try and maim each other--live and in person!

Fri: Righteous! Not only is Klingon metal band Stovokor playing, but so are the dark lords of sludge metal, Gargantula.

Sat: Sabala's hosts a perfect mix of horror flicks and Bloody Marys every Saturday, from 3-5 pm. Can't stand the heat? Get into the bar.

Sun: Barfly's 6th Anniversary BBQ Bash. If there's anyone who knows how to party, it's Jen Lane and her Barfly mag posse, so join 'em. The raging bash includes free BBQ for all, drink specials from New Deal Vodka, and a shit-ton of music--including deadman (the fire-breathing turntablist from New Zealand), the singing, dancing Levon Levan from Croatia (See Music pg 19), Frank Furter the singing hotdog, and the dance-tronica of Solovox.

Wed: I was just thinking yesterday that it had been far too long since I'd been to a balls-out Jell-O Wrestling Brawl. And quick as that, my prayers were answered. The sickos at Sabala's host a male/female, sloppy as hell evening of Jell-O wrestling, so wear your play clothes. KATIE SHIMER

Sabala's Week-o-Fun, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 238-1646, Thurs June 2-Wed June 8

Holocene's 2nd Anniversary

Could it really only be two years since the lovely Holocene first graced Portland with its minimalist décor, charming staff, and well-curated entertainment? 'Tis true, and to celebrate their second anniversary, Holocene is holding an extended weekend of events. Friday kicks it off with hiphop and soul breaks provided by Dynamo Productions' Scott Hendy, DJs Othertempo and Santo, plus live bossa breaks by BOOM-CHIC. Saturday brings the awesome Fleshtone performers (See "My! What A Busy Week!" pg 17). Sunday night features frequent Holocene drag king performers DK PDX, with their second annual uniform-themed show. And, if you still have any energy left by Monday, check out the highly danceable Out Hud, appearing with Tussle and Nudge. Their show culminates the weekend, as it falls on the technical, actual birthday of the club--and as a big slurpy smackaroo from Holocene to you, the show is absolutely, utterly free! Thank Christ for a killer happy hour (not to mention delicious specialty drinks), creative booking, fashionable aesthetics, and sweet, good lookin' people. Actually, fuck Christ. Thank Holocene! MARJORIE SKINNER

Friday: Scott Hendy, w/DJs Othertempo and Santo, and BOOM-CHIC, 9 pm, $7 (or $5 before 10:30); Saturday: Fleshtone w/DJs Beyonda, Sew What, Noll, 9 pm, $6; Sunday: DK PDX, 9 pm, $5 (no one turned away); Monday: Out Hud, w/Tussle and Nudge, 9 pm, FREE

Thorns and All

When the esteemed former governor Tom McCall envisioned a greenway park hugging the banks of the Willamette River, I highly doubt that he foresaw the week-plus Rose Festival carnival. Full of mullets, sweaty pig-faced children, and Navy recruiting stations, the annual Rose Festival can be a mess and an embarrassment to humankind. But, it also possesses charm and down-in-the-dirt fun times.

Although most of the music may be washed-up and never-were bands, there are a few diamonds in the dust. Starting with Dr. Theopolis and following with the foot-stomping Rubberneck, Saturday night has back-to-back good-time bands. (Saturday, June 4, Dr. Theopolis at 7:30 pm; Rubberneck at 9 pm on the Fountain Stage, near SW Salmon, admission to Pepsi Village, $5)

If roller coasters and gyroscopes are more your speed, get the most bang for your buck by stopping in on Wednesday (June 8) when you can purchase the "pay-once wristband." For $20, you get unlimited carnival rides and 10 game tickets! Ride until you puke! (Noon-10 pm)

The Festival effectively starts on Friday, June 3 with an all-out fireworks display--best seen from the river's east bank. And, the Festival wraps up with a stopover by some of the horniest and feistiest young men in the world--the U.S. Navy--who dock their big boats here for five days starting Wednesday, June 8th. Go get yourself some seamen! PHIL BUSSE

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