Grindhouse Film Fest

Last year's Grindhouse Film Fest was one of the badassest things to ever hit Portland.

What's that? "Badassest" isn't a word, you say? Well, guess what, four-eyes? It is now—because it's the only word that sums up just how cool the Grindhouse Film Fest is.

Now in its second year, Grindhouse boasts a more diverse selection of films alongside its rare kung fu flicks. Now there's a zombie movie (Lucio Fulci's Zombie, from 1979), a western (Clint Eastwood and Sergio Leone's 1965 classic, For a Few Dollars More), and a blaxploitation flick (1973's Coffy, with the inimitable Pam Grier).

But Grindhouse hasn't forgotten the chop-socky. There's Executioners from Shaolin (1976), which features Lo Lieh as White Lotus Chief Pai Mei (a character Quentin Tarantino swiped for Kill Bill Vol. 2). There's 1974's Five Masters of Death, which has five kung fu rebels fighting seven vicious foes. Plus! The asskickin' Gordon Liu stars in 1980's Fist of the White Lotus, and there's Jimmy Wang Yu's Chinese Boxer (1970), and—enjoying an encore presentation from last year—Shogun Assassin, 1980's touching tale of a father, a son, and a whole lot of blood. Truly, this fest will be sweet-tacular. (Go ahead: Try to tell me "sweet-tacular" isn't a word. I'll nail you with my White Lotus Seven-Point Palm Technique.) ERIK HENRIKSEN

Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 281-4215, $30 festival pass or $6 per show, for more info, see Film Shorts on pg. 47 or www.grindhousefilmfest.com.

Lisa "Suckdog" Carver

Forget every stereotype you've ever held about book readings. Lisa "Suckdog" Carver's new memoir, Drugs Are Nice: A Post-Punk Memoir, is sure to make for an interesting read, and her appearance a riot.

Born to a drug dealer father, Carver moved to Europe at 18, published the underground zine Rollerderby, married the controversial performance artist Jean-Louis Costes (known as "the French G.G. Allin"), worked as a prostitute, toured with her own provocative performance outfit, Suckdog, and had a child with Boyd Rice. Since then, she's become a cutting edge sort of cultural anthropologist, with pieces in everything from the Utne Reader to Playboy, as well as being a Nerve.com sex diarist. I don't know about you, but for my Saturday night that sounds more fun than both the Clintons' memoirs put together!

And not only is her reading to be held at an alcohol-slinging club, but will also feature her own dry-erase diagrams explaining phenomena like Lydia Lunch, the Swans, and (the original, American) G.G. Allin. She will also be accompanied by the comedic Dame Darcy, and promises to turn the room into "a physical representation of 10 minutes of the era she likes to call 'the late '80s, early '90s.'" Wow. MARJORIE SKINNER Dunes, 1905 NE MLK, 8 pm, free